It’s been a long time between drinks. Did someone say drinks? I need one
Last night was parent teacher interview at Little Pencil’s school.
There is nothing quite like having to appear in front of your child’s teacher in a tiny, uncomfortable blue gray chair. It is sort of like being summoned to the principal for a performance appraisal. But worse – because it is not the principal, it’s your child’s teacher. The person who gets to spend all day with your child. The same person who hears all the things about your life that you try to pretend don’t happen, the same person who sees what you pack for school lunch and who sees how inadequate you are at maths (this may be something that is exclusive to me).
So last night I sat before the women that teach my children. I was nervous. I had a tension headache and my shoulders felt like they were glued to my ears. My tension was not around my son. I know that he is doing beautifully at school, I know that he has friends, he is happy and academically he is blitzing it.
I was nervous because I always feel like the teachers are going to be judging me as a parent. Deep in my heart I hope that this is not true, I even acknowledge that I may be neurotic. But still there is a whole big part of me that is not deep in my heart that thinks that maybe, because the teachers spend so much time with my child they may think they know things about him that I don’t know. Or worse, they may think I am a crap mother (you can substitute the word crap with over indulgent, neurotic, irritating, nagging, or even hopeless at math)
You can recommend this cure to people under all age groups. discount viagra He seems to treat energy and transport alternatives as, for the most part being representative of a larger political and economic worldview that unfortunately the President either believes or implicitly accepts as true, energy policy is I believe a critical component for Obama to become a transformational President. viagra pills in india Smoking can lead to a male eventually needing to be treated for erectile dysfunction and taking a drug such as cialis soft , is available in 100mg strength. According to Clarus Transphase Scientific, Inc., the creator of Q-Link, ” This proprietary generic viagra pills technology is comprised of a copper induction coil and a resonating crystalline wafer embedded with life-supporting frequencies. I am not sure why this matters to me at all. But I think back to when I was a teacher.
I was a teacher before I was a mother. I knew a lot about the children I taught – I just did not know them from the perspective of a parent. I fear thought that I thought I knew (admittedly I was 22 years old when I was teaching so I thought I knew everything anyway).
Turns out all my neurosis was wasted – the teachers at Little Pencil’s school did not critique my parenting skills. Hell, they hardly even spoke about me even when I tried to take the conversation there. They did say the most beautiful things about my magnificent child though.
I wish I could go back to being the teacher of the children I taught just for a minute – just to be the kind of teacher that Little Pencil’s teachers were last night. They made me feel proud of my son and his achievements. They made me feel like bursting with happiness when they told me of my son’s happiness and delight at learning and they made me feel delighted that I have chosen the school that I have for my Little Pencil.
They did not even mention the fact that I all too often pack a higher treat to food ratio than is acceptable for lunch and they did not once laugh at my inability to do math.
Oh you are funny. I suffer from lunchbox anxiety too – packing them like I’m being graded. I’m sure we’re both solid B+ material. If not As.
Loved this!
I am a teacher now and when I have those interviews I will be that teacher!
Wx
You are gorgeous! Caring what your son’s teachers think of you is a sure sign that you are a great parent. I give you an A. (It would have been an A+ except for that debacle with fractions.)
Call me a Keyboard Psychologist Lana, but if you’re a ‘neurotic’ mother as you say, then perhaps resorting to fretting about your own shortcomings is a sure sign that Little Pencil is doing so well at school, you just can’t.find.anything. to worry about regarding *him*?.
This says to me, that you two are doing a *splendid* job in tandem. 😉 x
Oh I grinned hard at the marvellous child he is :). So proud of him, of you and for that rocking teacher that knows good stuff when she sees it!
xx
In my limited experience, the parents who are worried about being judged by the teacher … are NOT the parents that the teacher is judging.
A good dose of paranoia is healthy for parenting. I’m sure there’s an “expert” though that will tell you I’m wrong.
I just read that I am logged in as helpfromtheteacher
(LOL) & that’s because about 3 weeks ago I thought I’d start a blog from which I could help (as I am a teacher) parents/kids/teachers on “anything” related to school.
So, it is a great privilege for you, SharpestPencil, to have my services utilized for you in my latest professional venture.
1. Upon first reading the blog I noticed (but didn’t think it appropriate to correct) that the word ‘teaching’ was where ‘teacher’ should have been.
On return to your blog, I noted its correction and I am delighted with your self-editing.
2. There is a reason for chairs in Parent-Teacher interviews to be small in size. Due to budget restraints (no, those school fees are NOT enough) there is a one adult-sized chair ratio per 25 child-sized chair. As the teacher is there for the whole session, and you are for one time slot(strictly timed) you can be executed to put up with minor discomfort and loss of dignity & status.
3. Whilst it is obvious you are looking for validation and approval from your child’s teacher, you can be assured that the teacher will be more concerned by:
– how long until you leave so he/she can duck out for a ‘loo’ break/ smoke break/ coffee break/answer phone
4. The teacher is obviously going to tell you what you don’t want to hear- your child is very bright(of course, look at his parents) and friendly & co-operative & excels in extra-curricula events. YOU
already know this!! What you want to know is:
– does he eat his food.. Is the food deemed appropriate ie muesli bar not Tim tams..Does he eat his sandwich before he tackles the ‘treat’? Why has he lost his 3rd jumper this winter? Does the teacher think I need him to be “tutored” even though his Naplan scores went off the page(upward)
So, has this helpfromtheteacher helped?
As you were, by dint of happenstance, you may regard this crossing of bloggers within a blog a very useful one.
I am a great big scaredy cat about meeting my kids’ teachers and always send my husband. Because I really don’t want to get any bad news. I mean if the teachers could tell me before every parent evening if it was going to be good or bad news then I could decide – i’d love to go if its just going to be, “God your daughter is the best student we’ve ever had!”
I am yet to embark on school lunches and parent-teacher interviews…next year is our year. But already I have stated fretting about the lunch box and potential for being judged by the food I put in there…and for being that annoying/nosey/paranoid parent..and for being the parent of the smart-arse child… Parenting = guilt = anxiety = paranoia = we just need to give ourselves a break!
I spent ten years filled with anxiety about Parent Teacher night wondering what the parents would think of me. Now I sit on the other side of the table and I feel the exact same way.
I am so glad your boy is doing well at school. He has an awesome mama.
I’m exactly the same! I think I want to please Max’s teacher more than he does (no, I know I want to… little scamp). I get very nervous and a little bit embarrassingly show-offy around her. Look at me, see what a great parent I am, look how much my children love me… look how much all the children in your class love me, look, look! Miss!
I’ll get my coat. x
Oh I think teachers are just happy when there are parents who are interested in their child’s performance (and their own) and who are invested in it. I know they appreciate being thanked for their own efforts, and for parents to be in touch with them before parent-teacher night if there are any worries ahead of time.
A good teacher does not judge, he/she just tries to do what he/she thinks is best for the sake of the child and his/her education. Luckily, at our school, most of the teachers are like that.
I don’t worry about impressing them, I am just a regular force at school, helping out where I can and staying in touch if there are any concerns. We all do what we can do … and good teachers are like gold. I always make sure I thank them regularly and give them a nice pressie and personal thankyou at the end of the year!