Sleepover 101

This weekend saw the Indian Wedding style festivities of Little Pencil’s  birthday.  I am pleased to report that I survived and I am writing to you from neither jail nor hospital.  This is a most unexpected but welcome outcome.

You see last night I bravely volunteered to let my son have three friends to sleep over on the night before his birthday party because:

  1. I am a complete sucker, especially for birthdays.  I have this ridiculous need to fulfill Little Pencil’s every desire and make his birthday perfect and he desperately wanted his friends to stay the night.
  2. I had said no to having them  sleep over the night before thinking that stretching it one day would somehow make it more bearable.  It didn’t
  3. I am insane

It all started quite worryingly with the parents of the friends constantly checking that I had not gone mad and then wishing me luck, in hushed and very serious tones.  I knew that I was onto a bad thing when people who weren’t even involved in the sleepover started wishing me luck.

But I persisted because my child was very excited, he was having three of his best friends to sleep.  Two boys and one girl.  Perfect, possibly because they are the naughtiest sweetest children you could ever hope to find. Perfect also because the next day was his party and after the party we were having 25 people for lunch.  Did I mention that I am insane?

It wasn’t ALL bad, in fact I learned quite a lot from my ordeal experience of having 4 friends over to sleep. Take note, my lessons may stand you in good stead:

  • When serving dinner to 4 children do not ask themwhat they want, because they will tell you. And it will not be consistent with what the others want.
  • If the children are allowed to choose a movie and there are three boys and one girl there will never be any consensus
  • If you ask the children if they want a treat while watching the movie they will roll their eyes at your stupidity.  As they well should.  Serving “treats” before sleeping is one of the signs of insanity that they check for in intense psychiatric assessments
  • They will all need the toilet at exactly the same time.  Each one of them will tell you that it is urgent and it cannot wait.
  • Nobody’s teeth will be properly brushed
  • There will be toothbrush envy
  • Someone will forget to brush their teeth at all and just pretend they have
  • One of the children will want the lights on, one will want the lights dim and one will want them off.  The fourth one will want a rotating combination of all three
  • The children will all ask for water as they get into bed even if they have just drunk litres of the stuff and even if they adamantly refused a glass 10 minutes before.
  • All four children will want to sleep on the top bunk
  • You will not sleep a wink because someone is on the top bunk
  • Someone will fart and the other three will become hysterical as a result
  • Someone will make an annoying noise with their leg
  • Someone will make an annoying noise with their mouth
  • Someone will make general annoying noises
  • Someone will end up lying the wrong way in the bed
  • As they are about to fall asleep one of the children, probably your own, will tell a really stupid joke
  • When everything is quiet and you can hear the regular breathing rhythm of two sleeping children someone will tell you that they cannot sleep. This is because they are sitting bolt upright in their bed and playing with a ball
  • Someone will snore
  • Someone will be scared of snoring
  • They will all wake up before 6am
  • They will all be in terrible moods the next day because they are over each other and they are exhausted

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The biggest problem is that the kids will forget the pain of exhaustion and want to do it again, they may even forget the shrill tones of your voice as you scream at them, beg them to go to sleep. You will be scarred and your defence mechanisms may be so low that you will have forgotten the intensity of it, in which case you will probably agree to do it again.

Don’t.

Comments

  1. I have learnt a great deal from this article. My daughters have recently decided to sleep in the same room, therefore a few of these points did actually start sounding familiar. Tooth brush envy is one point though, I think we all have to learn about the hard way.

  2. Well thanks for that! You’ve just succeeded in bringing me RIGHT BACK where I had no desire to ever be again (and still don’t!)…kidding….

    As I read your post, I blissfully reminisced about my own days of insanity…
    As I read your post, I blissfully sipped on a glass of wine and thanked GOD I am no longer back there…
    As I read your post, I texted two friends who were back “there” with me – way back when. That’s way back to 18 & 21 years ago! Then we plotted our plans to catch up for an early Sunday night Thai at Bangkok Milton (Brisbane). Thing is (and this is the crux of my reply)…

    ONE of said friends was mad enough to go back for more of the insanity you just wrote about. She’s bringing two kids (3 & 5) who’ve NEVER eaten out with us all in PUBLIC (for fear no one will come out of the experience alive/un-scarred). Is she mad? Yes. Probably. Do we still love her? Hell yeah! Why? We get to go home, a couple of wines under our belt and (hopefully) sanity intact. She/you on the other hand (judging by the remnants of sanity you still have intact after Little Pencil’s Sleepover)…I’m not quite so sure…

    Bless. Bless you. Bless me. Whether we’re going through it now, or have “been there, done that” (and somehow survived) – we all deserve that glass of wine I’m about to enjoy! Oh, did I mention the lovely meal I’m NOT about to cook?…sorry…had to get that one in for good measure…

    Big Al x

  3. Pure insanity. I dodge the sleepover like the plague. Decided that the mother of the year award 2011 is indeed yours and it’s only February:)

  4. Bravo!
    You are here to write about the sleep-over.
    I am congratulating you on:-
    – having the power of speech
    -retaining your memory
    -sticking to ‘sugar free’
    -being the BESTEST MUM to the LUCKIEST SON.

    Denyse
    PS You also had a party…then lunch…I’m thinking that you will need a housecall, not by a Vet but by….(insert word of choice)

    PPS If you ever think of doing this again for LP in February…remember remember this SLEEPOVER 101. Bet he thought it was ace, tho!!

  5. Hah! You are indeed bonkers but it is fun for us to read about. The good thing about this post is that you can refer back to it anytime LP asks for a sleepover… and then refuse point blank. You WILL remember to refer back to it, won’t you????!

  6. Oh, hon… welcome to the club!
    Last year my daughter’s birthday fell on the ONLY night available for our pre-Broome leaving party. It was a Saturday night- the Friday night was school twilight sports, the previous weekends were all cricket finals (high holy days in our house), the following weekend we were off to the country for my best friend’s 40th- and then we left for Broome. As a result I agreed that my daughter, who was DESPERATE for a sleepover party (her first) could have it on the same night as our farewell party. I mean, we had 120 guests coming- what was 7 more girls? And they could help hand out the food! Brilliant.

    Except not. The first girl to be given a tray promptly spilled it all over the guests, then they all started crying & I had to go and put on something with Barbie in it to calm them down. Once calm, they proceeded to run in and out of the party (they were meant to stay in the front room) all night, prompting one guest to ask “Do you have a sweatshop going out there?”

    Our last guests left at 3:15 am and 2 of the girls were STILL AWAKE.

    Never. Again. Hope you’ve learned your lesson too. 🙂

  7. Loved it. Birthday insanity is the best kind. Littlest pencil is very lucky.

  8. Oh.my.Goodness. Just like Al, you took me back to a place where I never ever want to revisit. The nightmarish memories are fighting to get back into my head as I speak. I fear I need to lie down in a dark corner and rock in the fetal position until the images go away. It’s either that or valium with a gin chaser!!! Thank you. Not.

  9. Thanks for taking this one for the team. I now know that I will never need to do this.

Trackbacks

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Lana, Nikki. Nikki said: to print & tape to your fridge, an important reminder! “@sharpestpencil: I survived a sleepover. http://bit.ly/h4lWbS” […]

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