Sleepover 101

This weekend saw the Indian Wedding style festivities of Little Pencil’s  birthday.  I am pleased to report that I survived and I am writing to you from neither jail nor hospital.  This is a most unexpected but welcome outcome.

You see last night I bravely volunteered to let my son have three friends to sleep over on the night before his birthday party because:

1. I am a complete sucker, especially for birthdays.  I have this ridiculous need to fulfill Little Pencil’s every desire and make his birthday perfect and he desperately wanted his friends to stay the night.
2. I had said no to having them  sleep over the night before thinking that stretching it one day would somehow make it more bearable.  It didn’t
3. I am insane

It all started quite worryingly with the parents of the friends constantly checking that I had not gone mad and then wishing me luck, in hushed and very serious tones.  I knew that I was onto a bad thing when people who weren’t even involved in the sleepover started wishing me luck.

But I persisted because my child was very excited, he was having three of his best friends to sleep.  Two boys and one girl.  Perfect, possibly because they are the naughtiest sweetest children you could ever hope to find. Perfect also because the next day was his party and after the party we were having 25 people for lunch.  Did I mention that I am insane?

It wasn’t ALL bad, in fact I learned quite a lot from my ordeal experience of having 4 friends over to sleep. Take note, my lessons may stand you in good stead:

• When serving dinner to 4 children do not ask themwhat they want, because they will tell you. And it will not be consistent with what the others want.
• If the children are allowed to choose a movie and there are three boys and one girl there will never be any consensus
• If you ask the children if they want a treat while watching the movie they will roll their eyes at your stupidity.  As they well should.  Serving “treats” before sleeping is one of the signs of insanity that they check for in intense psychiatric assessments
• They will all need the toilet at exactly the same time.  Each one of them will tell you that it is urgent and it cannot wait.
• Nobody’s teeth will be properly brushed
• There will be toothbrush envy
• Someone will forget to brush their teeth at all and just pretend they have
• One of the children will want the lights on, one will want the lights dim and one will want them off.  The fourth one will want a rotating combination of all three
• The children will all ask for water as they get into bed even if they have just drunk litres of the stuff and even if they adamantly refused a glass 10 minutes before.
• All four children will want to sleep on the top bunk
• You will not sleep a wink because someone is on the top bunk
• Someone will fart and the other three will become hysterical as a result
• Someone will make an annoying noise with their leg
• Someone will make an annoying noise with their mouth
• Someone will make general annoying noises
• Someone will end up lying the wrong way in the bed
• As they are about to fall asleep one of the children, probably your own, will tell a really stupid joke
• When everything is quiet and you can hear the regular breathing rhythm of two sleeping children someone will tell you that they cannot sleep. This is because they are sitting bolt upright in their bed and playing with a ball
• Someone will snore
• Someone will be scared of snoring
• They will all wake up before 6am
• They will all be in terrible moods the next day because they are over each other and they are exhausted

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The biggest problem is that the kids will forget the pain of exhaustion and want to do it again, they may even forget the shrill tones of your voice as you scream at them, beg them to go to sleep. You will be scarred and your defence mechanisms may be so low that you will have forgotten the intensity of it, in which case you will probably agree to do it again.

Don’t.