I am a planner. I like to know what’s happening in advance and I like to prepare for it. So if I am aware of a function or important date my internal diary freak switches up a notch. I start to think about my hair – do I need to get it cut or coloured? Should I book a fake tan? What should I wear? Will it be cold or rainy? which will look daggier – my umbrella or drenched hair?
But there is one event that takes greater planning than most others and it doesn’t involve a single hair appointment, actually cancel that, it doesn’t involve a hairdressing appointment.
My pap smear check up is meticulously planned.
1. I always take a spare pair of undies. Fresh, pretty undies that I keep in my bag to change into just before I set off to my appointment. For the life of me I cannot figure out why I do this because the first thing the doctor does is ask me to go into a room (where he can’t see me) and take OFF my undies and put on a gown. I always then fold my knickers into the tiniest possible swatch of material and hide them under my clothes. So he never sees them. But still they have to be pretty. And fresh.
2. I also make sure that I have clean shaven legs. I can guarantee you that he does not look at my legs so why I don’t make sure that they are clean shaven when I go to the beach I am not quite sure.
3. For some reason I like to have my toe nails painted. Don’t even ask
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4. And then there is my er, area of interest as it were. A news poll survey once revealed that 97% of women undertake some sort of personal grooming (whether it is a bikini line wax, trim or Brazilian) before they have a pap smear
So I am not alone.
But I am not undermining the importance of a pap smear – in fact this whole post was devised to remind me, er you to have one. And to share this video because the last line said to share it with the girls that I really love and I love my readers
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1RIfd0vfP8&w=560&h=315]
How do you prepare for a pap smear?
Now I fell a bit in love with you, which honestly dude is definitely a little creepy seeing that you are talking about pap smears and I don’t swing that way. I too paint my nails. xx
I once forgot about a Pap smear appointment until the day, and was MORTIFIED to realise I was, er, bald down there. It seemed so…. wrong. No more than a trim for the big day, girls. No more than a trim.
LOL. How did you not know you were bald down there?
I’m with Bianca here! How on earth did you not remember you were bald? I would have worn a merkin – but I guess that would have to be folded up with my undies
I’m with you Lana. Freshly showered – check, clean undies – check, hairfree legs – check, pedicure – check, groomed – check. Do you think anyone is looking at these areas when we have a pap smear? I certainly hope not, but at least I feel good while I’m in such a vulnerable pose.
Anything to get you through it 🙂
My favourite pap smear story is the one of the lady who had a toddler and who was, consequently, in a hurry, so grabbed the face washer by the sink and gave herself a quick once-over before going to the doctor. I’m sure he or she was normally the soul of discretion, but the doctor couldn’t help remarking that she had gone to particular effort that day. It wasn’t until she got home that the mother realised that she had done her quick clean with the facewasher that had previously been used to clean the glitter off her child. So she sparkled her way through her pap smear. Gives a whole new meaning to down under grooming.
I’ve heard that one before – I would have been mortified. My gynae did once comment on my glittery fingernails but I think that was because I was clenching my fists so hard and he was trying to get me to relax!
I made the open accountable decision (by writing it on my blog) to have my first pap smear soon. I’m booked in for 8 June. Will let you know how I go. Or not.
Great post Lana x
Thanks Carly! Don’t forget to paint your toe nails on 7th June 🙂
They’re doctors. They don’t care. They look at haemorrhoids for goodness sake. I can understand being clean but nice toenails? I dunno I think we get a bit precious about all this stuff. Like women who think about what outfit they’re going to wear in the birthing suite because they’re too modest to be naked. Seriously.
If I was going to get haemorrhoids checked out I would paint my toes with glitter nail polish 🙂