13 things I learned from my son’s primary school years

It’s the end of an era for me today, well actually it’s the end of an era for my son who finishes primary school this afternoon. But, like many things I have learned through being a mother, it’s mostly me that’s been affected.

He was very excited this morning as we headed off on our well trodden route to the school gate, mostly though it was because they were going swimming today and I had packed him the weight of a large dumbbell in sugar. He’s quite nonplussed about the whole high school thing. Maybe it’s because his high school is on the same campus as the primary school or maybe it’s because he’s a lot better at dealing with change than I am.

He is not as interested in reflecting on his time at primary school as I am, he’s right in the here and now, loving today and excited about tomorrow. I marvel at this human being I have created.

He’s changed so much during his time at primary school, entering the gates as a tiny and rather afraid human being and exiting them this afternoon as a bold, confident and very happy, young man. But it’s not just him who has changed, I’ve grown and developed too, all because of what he’s learned at primary school

1. Friends are vitally important. There is nothing Little Pencil would rather do than be with his friends. You could offer him a trip to Disneyland, a day of back-to-back movies, 100 x-box games and he would choose the option that involves a friend sharing it with him. He is just as happy to be in an empty room – as long as his friends are with him.
2. It’s good to occasionally use your body to express your emotions in a safe environment. He still likes to be the action hero he was when he was a little boy, but now he knows how to channel it. It can be practiced as an art form, or in a martial arts class of any kind. He is amazing to watch. He has taught me dedication and loyalty and that not only big, burly men and stunt doubles can fight like Bruce Lee
3. It’s important to laugh and make other people laugh. Little Pencil is FUNNY and he gets adult humour. A little too much
4. Don’t obsess over food. All the time worrying that his diet will consist of nothing more than spaghetti bolognaise was time wasted
5. Show your affection. He still kisses me goodbye. But now he does it with a little swagger in his step
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7. It’s okay to let down your guard. He’s a big deal during the day but at bed time “big deal” turns into “big snuggle”.
8. You always need your mother. He needs me as much as he did when he was a baby but in a very different way.
9. Be careful about what you say. He listens not just to what I say but how I say it. Who am I kidding? He doesn’t listen to a word I say to him but he listens when I talk to other people and he takes in what I say. It’s teaching me to speak with patience and kindness and I am proud to say I should have achieved that by the time his grandchildren are his age
10. Separate fact from fiction. He can handle movies, books and themes with a maturity that I am yet to develop, In fact he’s much better at separating fact from fiction than I ever hope to be
11. Talk. Talk. Talk. Little Pencil makes great conversation. As much as you hear dire warnings about being friends with your children, you don’t have to be best friends to enjoy spending time talking to your kids. There are times that I get lost in conversation with my son. There are also times when he talks and talks and talks so much I kind of wish he would get lost…
12. Be prepared for the not such good times. Sometimes he is moody, temperamental and sullen even. It’s part of growing up I suspect but he’s handling it with grace and trying his hardest to keep it in check and to talk about if when he’s got over the moment. He’s showing me a mirror of my own emotional mood swings and it’s creating an interesting picture to learn from
13. Be a better person. He is amazingly compassionate and kind and thoughtful. He’s teaching me every day about acceptance and letting go of judgment.

I never dared to dream about my son finishing primary school. I still remember the baby as big as my hand that lay surrounded by tubes and machinery. I still remember reading horrific outcomes for preemie babies and the developmental delays that they might encounter. I still remember the baby that fought through all the odds that were stacked against him to become this beautiful young man that has everything stacked in his favour.

I’m excited to learn from him in high school. Even though I’m petrified about the homework.