I have so many diets going around my head I’m actually struggling to concentrate. Seriously my mind is like a thesaurus for the words “weight loss”
I could blame the plethora of magazine covers that I see every time I am standing at the checkout counter paying for the food that is actually causing me to need to diet.
It is enough to make your head spin. Should I be doing the super-easy plan to get a flat belly, should I be doing the Monday to Friday diet? or should I be detoxing?
But it’s not the magazines. I’m not buying into that.
I could blame my friends and my social media interactions My Facebook feed, my Twitter stream and my conversations with friends are peppered with discussions about diets and gluten and HCG and sugar and detoxes. “This one really worked” and “My friend SWEARS by that one”.
I think I should be quitting sugar again because I keep reading about it, but then I think I should be taking the HCG hormone because it’s guaranteed to make me lose weight (but I do have to starve while I take it). Should I do Michelle Bridges again because it worked last time or should I be fasting two days a week? Maybe I should I be eating like my ancestors who had a life expectancy of about 35 but were really lithe.
But maybe there is no one to blame. Maybe I’m just seeing it all because I am open to it. Because, here’s the thing. I really want to lose weight. Now before you tell me that it’s because of the ridiculous articles that I see around me – let me tell you, it’s not.
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I’m smart, well educated and I know more than most about all the tricks and deception that the media use in images and advertising. I know that calories in vs calories expended will result in weight change, I know that sugar is not great for my pre-diabetic body. I know about portion sizes and the importance of fresh food. I know that thin doesn’t equal healthy or “sexy” or happiness. I know that “fat” is subjective in some cases and happy and healthy are more important. I know that dieting is not good for my body and that yo-yo’ing is futile and harmful. It turns out that I know quite a lot!
I also know that I feel hideous at the weight that I am and that my mind and ears are closed to the people that stand on high that tell me not to worry, and that society is putting this pressure on me. It’s not! Society says nothing to me about the way I look, I don’t take that on.
I find it ironic that the people who are usually telling me how I should accept my body have very “acceptable” bodies themselves. Bodies that seem to look very much like the images they rally against… This is not an attempt to skinny bash at all, I just don’t want someone who’s underweight or who’s not struggling internally with their weight telling me how I should accept myself, or love myself or flaunt my curves or go to the beach in a bikini. I don’t really care what other people think. I care about how I feel.
It is my son’s Bar Mitzvah in five weeks. A huge rite of passage for a Jewish boy and a monumental event for a Jewish parent. I wanted to look my best on that day because no doubt all eyes (okay, some eyes) will be on the mum and there will be a million photos taken and I hate photos of myself when I am not sucking in my cheeks and holding in my stomach.
I want to lose weight. I want to go on a miracle diet because I have NO will power (I ate rocky road while writing this post) I want to be thinner in 5 weeks time (and forever) but I can’t seem to clear the clutter from my head.
While I don’t think the media makes me want to look a certain way, they certainly offer me way to many ways to get there. Sadly I know that the only one that works is to eat less… and that’s the one thing I am not very good at.
Do you struggle with your weight? Is there any way you can switch off the diet switch in your head?
I’ve spent the last three weeks overindulging and now my thighs are rubbing together. My regime will be a massive undressed salad for lunch and a huge plate of vegetables for dinner. That way I’m satisfied and have a full belly but cutting out calories and fat. I still have a glass or two of wine with dinner to give me something to look forward to. I will have to do this for the equivalent time I spent gorging like a piglet 🙂
I often go to sleep thinking “tomorrow I will eat salad and soup” but then I wake up and eat toast! I am a SHOCKER xx
Mazal tov on the b/m. As for the weight loss, it just sucks. Only you can work out how you want to lose weight, but by golly it’s a difficult thing. As someone who needs to lose a heck of a lot of weight, I can only wish you well on your quest for working out whether you’re giving up carbs or fat or modern day foods or just exercising more and eating less. If you need a regular walking partner, I’m free to walk our dogs together every Tuesday or Thursday evening 🙂
Thanks RES, I’m exercising for an hour every day. But then I come home from the gym and exercise my mouth the rest of the day by shoving food into it!
I’ll keep you posted on the barmy *nervous twitches* xxx
Exercising an hour every day – you are an amazing woman Lana!!! You must be as fit as can be…I’m envious!
The only way to do it is to move more and eat less.
Sad, but true. No quick fixes, no easy way.
I’m 17kgs less than this time last year and it was bloody hard, boring work. I didn’t count calories, or keep a food diary (although i did use 12WBT for exercise, but never did all that she prescribes) i just try to do eat more good things than bad things and move more days than not.
Good luck!
X
You have done an amazing job KJ.
I am certainly moving more since I started 12WBT (and amazingly I am enjoying it) but it’s the eating that’s the problem. xx
You see, I saw you today and thought you looked gorgeous. In fact, I remember telling you so! Did not notice ONE POUND of weight gain.
Perhaps – just perhaps – the most helpful thing you could do is keep telling yourself ‘I AM UTTERLY BEAUTIFUL and let that fat voice go fuck itself.
xxxxx
Aw bubba. I was hiding m fat with that awesome concealer you told me about xxxx (and under a very floaty dress)
I’m like you – couldn’t give a flying fuck about what anyone thinks, it’s what I think that matters! My hub thinks I’m gorgeous as do my sons but I don’t even really care that much about what they think either.
I think with me it mostly comes down to plain, old-fashioned vanity. I want to wear nice clothes, and I want to look nice in them. If that’s shallow then shot me!
I would never shoot you for being shallow – I would applaud you for being honest. Great comment – thank you xxx
Well done. People think that just eating less or working out more will work. It doesn’t! it’s the quality of what you eat that counts and the protein content in particular. Clean wholefood eating and vitamins and minerals.
Oh Lana, I completely understand wanting to lose weight and I’m sorry you’re having a struggle with it at the moment. I think for many many people “eat less” is not nearly as simple as it sounds. I don’t have any silver bullets to offer, just wanted to say I hear you. And I think you’re awesome, regardless.
Aww thank you Leonie xxx
Oh I feel your pain. I wanted to lose weight for my daughter’s 1st birthday, which unfortunately falls 3 days after Christmas and I couldn’t quite make it happen. I had an emergency spray tan the day before instead and have found a few acceptable photos of myself.
I have promised myself that I will lose weight for my 30th which is in 5 weeks time as well. So no excuses, I’m booked in for a juice fast from Monday to kickstart things and have started to move more. But then I had hot chips for lunch! I know better, I know what I’m supposed to do and how very simple it really can be but I’m just missing that switch. I think its maybe because I’m overweight but I carry it well, I have good skin and I’m not unhealthy, so there is nothing but vanity prompting the change.
I’ll be struggling alongside you these next weeks! Good luck to you!
I am happy to have such good company on my struggle. Just 5 kilos that’s all I want. We can do 5 kilos in 5 weeks can’t we? *immediately regrets dinner choice*
Finally an honest post about weight loss. It’s all well and good to be ‘diets are bad’ but if you know in yourself you are unhappy for you, that is what helps. I don’t have any tips or tricks but I think if you know you want to do it for you then that is what matters. And if it is a fad ‘lose a dress size in an hour’ style who gives? lol
Thank you so much Jodi. If I could lose a dress size in an hour I swear I would try it! xxx
Laying in bed last night I decided that I was done with the diet talk. It was spurred on by a text message from my mother. I grew up being put on endless diets and knowing about diets and I have not felt comfortable in my skin for at least 15 years. I second guess everything I put in my mouth, even if it’s an apple. I justify in my head why I deserve to eat. I developed an eating disorder in my teens, something that my mother, to this day refuses to admit. She told my dr at the time, after he expressed concern because I had dropped 25kg in 3 months, that I ate like a pig despite knowing that I was only eating every couple of days.
I don’t want that life for my son, I don’t want him to listen to me putting myself down and watching me put my body through grueling weightloss fads. I want to set him up to have healthy thoughts and ideas about food. I don’t want him to have a little voice in his head that hisses at him every time he puts a spoonful of food in his mouth.
Phew sorry for the novel, but it’s something that has been playing a lot on my mind a lot lately.
I love your “novel”, thanks Tegan.
I think everything you say makes such good sense and of course I agree, our kids should see examples of us being healthy and making wise choices rather than hating on ourselves and treating our bodies with anything less than respect. Sometimes it takes some really bad parenting to make us good parents with an understanding and an empathy borne out of real sensitivity and tough experiences xxx
I decided I had to do something when I grew out of yet another size. Cut back to only weekend drinking (very hard), no sugar (it was an addiction), less carbs, more protein, plus gym. The alcohol is the killer, I reckon. I still try to avoid mid-week drinking. Even one glass can set me off on late night snacks, etc. But over a year, lost 15 kg. That was 3 years ago, have only regained a couple of kg in last months with foot injury.
Good luck, it’s hard slog, but worth it to feel healthier. Even if you only go to the gym, that’s excellent.
Wow Gil, this is exactly the kind of motivation I need. Lifestyle changes that you can stick to while still enjoying your life (although I am sure losing the mid-week drink challenges the enjoyment a bit) xxx
Lana, can I just say that I love your writing & always enjoyed your writing at Mamamia. I hear you on the weight loss. I am convinced it’s much harder to lose weight after you turn 40 – or maybe it’s an old wives tale but it’s certainly been my experience. Can I just recommend Weight Watchers One on One? They are inside Myer stores. Surely you would have some in Sydney because we have 4 or 5 in Melbourne and I cannot recommend them highly enough (and no, I do not work for them – sorry for sounding like an ad for them!)
Oh Thank you for your lovely words Olympia. I have done Weight Watchers before – actually quite liked it…. going to look into that xxx
I swear you crawled into my head and stole my thoughts. I’m in the exact same headspace. xxx
I love your company in my head xx
Lana – I truly sympathise. I put on a ridiculous amount of weight with last pregnancy (possibly close to 30kg – stopped weighing myself in the end). I realised quite soon that very little of it was baby related and quite a lot of it was icecream related.
Anyway I started one of these meal replacement shakes and bars programs (have lost about 5kg so far – been doing it for about 5 weeks). I don’t love it. I miss proper food. But I don’t care anymore because I miss all my gorgeous clothes more and sick of still being in maternity wear and hating my size (15kg over still).
I’m with you – does not matter what ppl say. Don’t care about media. Just care about getting into my clothes again and not having shape wear as a permanent part of my wardrobe, esp in Sydney summer.
In good news I have 3 years until Noah’s barmitzvah so hopefully will be gone by then…..?? 🙂
Mazeltov!
I am so impressed with anyone that can stick to meal replacement shakes and bars. I just love food too much. You will be Twiggy by the time of Noah’s Bar Mitzvah xxx
Lana, my dear internet friend and BRILLIANT writer – STOP IT NOW! Does you son say “Jeez Mum you’re fat, I don’t want you in any of my Bar Mitzvah photos”? Nope? Didn’t think so! I see your photos and you look fine, healthy, happy, pretty and normal. This WAR AGAINST WEIGHT AND WHAT YOU EAT that is going on in your brain is so debilitating and controlling and has to stop. The minute you go into “diet mode” your brain fights back and says “Chips, Chocolate Cake, Fizzy Drinks”. Your exercise regime is terrific, I don’t know how you do it. The best I would have recommended is walking your dog each day but you do so much more. Great. Now, do you think you can do ONE OTHER THING? For the entire year of 2014 I want you to stop worrying about what you eat, your weight and how you look. For the entire year! On New Year’s Eve 2014 I’ll bet you will have changed little in weight and shape, but the stress you put on yourself will have gone and you will look terrific and feel wonderful. Your poor exhausted brain will have given up screeching in your ear about food and will be doing much more important things, like writing wonderful posts that I and all your fan club out here love and enjoy. More importantly, like all ‘recommenders of diets’ I can honestly recommend this. I put on weight after an emergency hysterectomy and HRT. Worried myself sick about it as I’d always been naturally slim, no matter what I ate or how much (or little) I exercised. Finally I decided to stop worrying about it. I still have that weight, but I don’t worry about it and I’ve not put on more weight in many years. I have eaten what I wanted (without being too silly – oh, alright, sometimes I was just plain stupid), but my poor brain and I do not have the agonizing daily fights we used to have. Also, please keep taking those “Jeez I look good” tablets I sent you. Because you do look good, believe me (would I lie to you?) Finally, watch a few 1960’s Beach movies. The girls in these movies are all healthy and beautiful and I doubt one of them is less than a size 12. Some are size 14 (good grief, the sky is falling!) And they still look gorgeous today, despite what ‘propaganda’ has been ingested by our poor brains over the last 50 years about size. Try my “diet”, keep up your wonderful exercise regime and enjoy every minute of 2014 without guilt!
Leonie, you always say the most beautiful things. I am going to try your positive speak diet. I promise. I might just have to pair it with a calories controlled one just this time xxxx
I’ll make you a deal. You can go on your diet for the Bar Mitzvah. But after that you’ll give my diet a try for the REST OF THE YEAR. And get a hold of the movie “Gidget” from 1959 and have a good look at the girls in their bikinis then. Yvonne Craig in a 2 piece was what would be called chubby these days, but she was a big star for years, especially as Batgirl in the TV Show. Every girl in that show was as pretty as a picture and as healthy as a horse (except for poor Sandra Dee, who was still an anorexic when she died at 60) and no one thought they were anything but just gorgeous. That is what you look like to everyone else out here in the world – pretty as a picture, healthy as a horse and unbelievably intelligent to boot.
Don’t over think the whole body thing – I drive myself nuts getting all concerned with whether I’m ‘bowing to societal pressure’ just because I’m watching what I eat. What a crock. If you wanna lose weight, that’s absolutely your prerogative and nobody else’s business. I’m really loving the 5/2 diet. It means I can just be ‘me’ five days a week and not eat at all 2 days a week. Either way, it stops me thinking ‘I’m on a diet’. I’m either just being normal or I’m not eating at all in which case, out of sight, out of mind. Anyway, works for me. If you want to speed things up, you can always do a different combination and slide another ‘no food’ day in per fortnight.
Wow you nothing at all for 2 days? How has it been working, have you lost weight?
Pam you eat normally 5 days and then for 2 days you only eat 500 calories.
It’s supposed to be brilliant http://thefastdiet.co.uk/
Love the idea of the 5/2 diet and tried it before but I ate an entire service station counter (or close to) on my feast days. All the chocolate! xxx Going to try it again x
Ok, here goes. I am a GP now stay at home mum who freaked out 8 months ago that I was carrying 10 kilos of baby weight despite the fact my daughter turns 8 tomorrow, and that I am 46 years old and if I want to see her 40th birthday I had to DO something. So, being the scientist that I am, I started reading. And gradually changed my life and lost those 10kgs and am hopefully gaining healthy years. Here’s my reading list:
Sweet Poison by David Gillespie. With occasional exceptions, I eat almost no sugar now. The science is rock solid. To drive the point home, I just finished Fat Chance: The Bitter Truth About Sugar by Robert Lustig. Fascinating. Life-changing. Watch his talk on You Tube if you haven’t already.
Toxic Oil also by David Gillespie. You’ll never eat vegetable oil or margarine again after reading this one. Again, rock solid science.
Eat, Fast, Live. BBC Documentary by Dr Michael Mosely on fasting to live. Then I read his book and started fasting 2 days a week. The kilos have melted off and I can almost feel my breast cancer, diabetes, Parkinson’s and dementia risk falling ( ok, that’s a stretch, I can’t actually feel it but I know it’s happening). Once my weight is where I want it I’ll drop to one day a week.
Blue Zones by Dan Buettner. Describes the secrets of long lived communities around the world and what changes you can make in your life. Only a few of them involve food. Many of them are about belonging to your community, waking up for a reason each morning, growing your own food, even if it is just a pot of parsley on the window sill. The story of Ikaria (Greek Island) alone is incredible and has lead me to a Mediterranean diet.
The Mediterranean Diet Dr Catherine Itsiopoulos
So basically what I do is: 5:2 fast diet, avoid sugar and eat like a Greek. You have to be convinced to make the changes – for me that meant reading the science such that I now can’t believe I ate the way I did for the first 46 years of my life. And I love food, that’s why I love the fasting. No real restrictions (other than sugar) on the non-fast days. I’m hoping for another 46 years. I’m not aiming for size 8, I’m aiming for spritely great-grandmotherhood.
Sorry for the mega-post, but you did ask! I love your writing, thanks for a wonderful blog.
Thank you thank you thank you for your long comment. I loved reading every word. I love science and would listen to it over hearsay anytime. I also love Dr Michael Mosley and hanker after the will power to stick to 500 calories a day. Monday I will be trying again xx (while also trying to give up sugar – GAH!!!)
Good luck! But truly, read the books if you haven’t already. It’s great incentive. I re-read them whenever I feel my resolve wavering. I’m doing this for my kids. And it’s kind of like quitting smoking. I quit when I finally got the shits with Big Tobacco and how evil they are. I think Big Food is heading in that direction. Keep us posted!