I’m happy not to be religious but I’m even happier to be traditional

I am feeling a little overwhelmed by the impending Bar Mitzvah this weekend. Testimony to this is the fact that I have fallen asleep twice day and as I write this it is only 4pm.

I fell asleep at the beautician having an omnilux treatment and then I managed to fall asleep while having synthetic eyelashes adhered to my natural eyelashes. I think that falling asleep with someone’s fingers in your eyes is quite a feat. Waking oneself up with a loud snore is also quite a mean feat but one I was slightly more ashamed about today.

But it’s been a big week. Family have been converging from one corner of the world (South Africa) and preparations for the Bar Mitzvah are at warp speed.  My son has learned the portion that he has to sing in synagogue so well that last night when we watched the full dress rehearsal the parts of me that weren’t leaking out through my tear ducts were bursting with pride. Quite a surreal feeling actually which may have left me with such a tense neck that I cannot turn to either the left or the right (actually that tension may have been caused by my being over controlling, slightly neurotic and bad at being with people for an extended period of time.)

And other than the unbridled joy I feel at the thought of hosting a bloody brilliant party on Saturday night , the immense pride I feel at watching my son recite his portion in the shule and take on the mantle of manhood according to his ancestors and his religion , I also feel a tremendous sense of community and belonging.
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Usually I am the first one to put down religion. I am not religious, I don’t believe in god but my family is steeped in tradition and I expect my son to have a Bar Mitzvah, not so much as a religious rite, but rather as a way of carrying on the tradition of his ancestors. I hope he will expect the same from his son should he ever have one because being part of such an ancient tradition is an awesome way to make you feel like you belong.

Never having had a child have Bar Mitzvah before and not being terribly well versed in Bar Mitzvah etiquette I have been well and truly astounded by the people that have the etiquette down pat. The people who are part of the tradition that are making me feel this tremendous sense of community and belonging.

My phone has been buzzing and beeping with people that I didn’t even remember knowing, sending me the most beautiful messages. The outpouring of support and praise for my little man have been phenomenal. Little Pencil is reaping the benefits too with gifts arriving from friends of his grandparents and even from the grandparents of his friends. People that we never even thought to invite to the celebration.

It’s truly amazing to be surrounded by so much love, it’s truly spectacular for me to witness this village that has helped raise my child. It’s truly miraculous that this weekend my tiny little baby will be Bar Mitzvah and enter a tradition that makes him part of such a wonderful community.