Thank God my mother never had Facebook

When I was a little girl I was apparently prone to a tantrum or two and there are a fair few photos of me mid total melt down. I guess being third child my parents thought it funny and tried to capture my ridiculous cuteness on film rather than give me that damn toy I wanted, but I digress.  One such photo exists of me naked and screaming in the backyard. It was printed of course because I am old and there was no digital imaging when I was in my prime tantrum years (although my husband might disagree).  I hated that photo.

I didn’t hate the fact that I was nude so much as I hated what I looked like, how sad and angry I seemed, how no one was listening to me but they were photographing me and how isolated I looked in that frame.  Clearly I have childhood issues which I bring to the photo but don’t we all?

My nude tantrum photo was kept because we had some weird superstition that destroying a photo was like destroying a life or something almost as absurd. And so it haunted me. It worried me that people would see it, that my friends would mock me or that my parents would remember me as angry and crying rather than sweet and loving. I still hate that photo and if my sisters let me get my hands on it I would tear it to shreds.

I was lucky that there was no Facebook. My mum would have put that picture up for sure – she would have written something like  “This is what she does every time she doesn’t get her own way #sooverit” And her friends would have liked it and made cooing comments like

• It will pass
• She’s still cute
• Oooh I love the pigtails
• Mine does that ALL the time – drives me to drink

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I would have never known because I was as good at reading at that age as I was at handling the fact that I couldn’t get my own way. But I grew up and I learned to read. And that photo continued to taunt me from the bottom of that green box in which it lay. I would have hated people to see it.

A million (or 40 ) years later there is a continuing trend of articles appearing about Instagram and Facebook banning photos or suspending users.  In the last few weeks alone there has been the #freethenipple campaign aimed at Instagram, the change in policy from Facebook in relation to breastfeeding images and a fair few articles about people who have been banned for showing pictures of their children in various states of undress.

It is interesting to note that many of these bans, suspensions or removal of images takes place because someone has complained about a particular image.

I have no issue with nudity per se , I see sexuality and nudity as two distinct genres.  I’m also  totally okay with women breastfeeding in public or on my Facebook page, I probably feel the same way I do about anyone eating just with added cluckiness. I don’t see the need for banning of images on Facebook or Instagram unless they are lewd and pornographic and suggestive of sex or violence in any way. Boobs are not lewd when on a woman’s chest – when she’s pressing them together to hold a lollipop straight up the vibe changes – you get my drift.

But pictures of children in the bath or romping around naked at home are in a whole other category on their own. They remind me of my tantrum photo.

I’ve heard people who worry about pedophiles lifting images and sharing them online. It is horrific and too awful to imagine your child’s image being used by anyone you don’t know but that’s not what worries me. I don’t deny it MAY happen but it doesn’t keep me up at night.

I worry about sharing these pictures just because I worry about the kids themselves. Not their images – but their feelings and their reactions as they grow up.  I understand that mothers have every reason to celebrate their kids, or complain, or seek shared experiences.  But sharing a picture of someone else… is that fair?

Facebook has not been around for long enough for us to really know how it’s going to affect our kids. The broadcasting of kids’ cutest, silliest, naughtiest and smartest moments is like my mum putting my childhood pictures up at the local movie theatre and inviting the world to come and watch.

I would have hated that.

I have shared pictures of my son (never in any “compromising” situation although I am not sure who defines what confronting is). I have thought about it very carefully every time and I hope I have got it right. I’d hate to be the one that causes him to cringe every time one of my friends look at him. I probably shouldn’t have posted any pictures at all and I am lucky that I didn’t have Facebook when he was very young.

 What are your thoughts? What do you think about posting pictures of your kids online?