In case you’ve been wondering where I’ve been lately, I’ll let you know that I have been at work. Well I’ve actually been at home but I have been working so I’ve been a really slack blogger.
I’ve been writing so many posts for Kidspot that I am almost out of words. Almost. I’ve actually got a lot to say but I am full of thoughts that aren’t forming themselves into posts – so I’m just going to throw them at you
- I, like everybody else, have been gutted by the events of this world over the last few weeks. Unlike everybody else I am very immature in the way I deal with these things. It has not been fun to be my husband
- My house is still being renovated and I am still the worst project manager in the world. I have decided not to complain relentlessly about the building process because people all over the world are dying
- I still hate our government and I wish Tony Abbott could see the tragedy of having to flee your own country and seek asylum as clearly as he can see the tragedy of a plane being shot out of the sky
- I have lost a considerable amount of Facebook friends over the Israel/Gaza fighting. Nothing compared to the death of innocent people
- I am tired of explaining to people that being Jewish does not necessarily mean you are Israeli or even that you agree with everything that the Israeli government do. Not even everyone in the Israeli government agrees with what they are doing
- I am completely horrified by the judgment being piled on Peaches Geldof most especially by anonymous writers whose anonymity I think I may just see through. I wrote about that more fully on Kidspot today – you can check it out here
- I am equally annoyed by self righteous people all over the internet and by adults who behave like school girls
- I still have unresolved school girl issues
- I have huge issues with the images that the TV news is showing us. I have lots of words to say about that – I am going to write them for Kidspot tomorrow
- The skin on my feet is so rough I am starting to look like an elephant.
- I have discovered that the key to eating well is being organised. While I am fairly well organised in every other facet of my life I can’t nut this one down. Must be some deep rooted issue
- My friend challenged me to write a gratitude journal for five nights and I forgot after two although I remain grateful for lots of things
- My fringe is in that in between stage. Between awful and horrific
- I have developed an unnatural obsession for eating oranges
- Since I joined the gym I have been sick. Like proper sick with a chest infection, fevers and laryngitis which I didn’t complain about because it seemed a little selfish given the state of the world
- I have a friend who is undergoing treatment for breast cancer and I wish I could publish her texts and emails because not only is she a brilliant and witty writer, but she’s so brave and amazing and her attitude so bloody down to earth and unexpected and inspiring, I want the world to hear her voice. I will nag her more rigorously after she’s completed chemo because I’m sensitive like that
- I’m loving working at Kidspot. A more supportive, funny and amazing group of women you’d be hard pressed to find. They’re bringing back the joy of working for me. No agenda. No nasty. No schoolgirl shit . Just a bunch of incredible people working together
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And those are my thoughts for this minute.
How about you ?
I’m excited at the moment because my book-in-progress is being read for the first time by some critique partners of mine… excited and scared shitless might be more accurate… I’m looking forward to the feedback, but also expect some ego-crushing moments too! 🙂
I’m also excited because I’m reading their books-in-progress as well… can’t wait to say “I knew them when” in a few years when we’re all published authors…
I also have to admit to almost completely ignoring the news at the moment – I think it’s the only way I can cope with the world at the moment…
I can’t wait till I can read your book and ignore the news 🙂
Oh honey, I’m so very sorry for your loss of friendships on facebook, but fuck em. More so I am sorry for your friend who is undergoing cancer treatment – much love to them.
I am loving working with you at Kidspot – what a lovely bunch of people. You are the most wonderful co-worker. I am truly grateful. And I get the words thing. Hard to find more words after putting so many down already.
One day we shall meet again xx
GET TO SYDNEY. That is all xx
I love your post – thank you! I am excited about a family trip to europe leaving Sunday – yippee! (I am blocking any worries of plane safety and travelling with two primary aged kids from my mind, as I’m sure it will be fine. Very sure. Completely.)
I do find the whole Israel / Gaza issue so sad and confusing but could see your frustration with ‘I am tired of explaining to people that being Jewish does not necessarily mean you are Israeli or even that you agree with everything that the Israeli government do. Not even everyone in the Israeli government agrees with what they are doing’. While maybe things are a bit different here, so many Australians don’t agree with many of the things that our Government does – surely they can see that the same could be true for Jewish people? I’m so sorry you are losing friends over this.
Great to hear Kidspot is going well too!
Thanks Helen!
I hope you get this message before you leave because I want to wish you an amazing holiday. Enjoy every minute and leave every single worry behind. Please eat some very delicious food for me
You have my full admiration Lana. If I was writing posts all day there is no way I’d want to do it when I was in relaxation mode. Sorry about the Facebook friends. Lack of empathy… a plague at the moment I think. I hope your fringe is heading towards awful and away from horrific. #WhyIcutmyownfringe. xx
Thanks Pinky – the fringe has got worse 🙁 (but I cannot even cut a piece of paper let alone my hair)
Here are the thoughts in my head, in no particular order:
1. this text box won’t let me see any text beyond the first line, please excuse any typos.
2. I am sorry to hear about your friend.
3. I’m surprised anyone would think being Jewish means you are Israeli and/or agree with what the Israeli government is doing. I doubt all the Israeli people agree with their government either. Many of us here in Australia don’t agree with our government, why would it be different anywhere else?
4. I can’t deal with the world right now. It’s too scary.
5. I feel like people think that’s because I don’t care, but that isn’t true. It’s because I do care.
6. I behaved like a school girl recently and I regret it.
7. Sometimes I’m so proud of the person I’ve become. I am so much stronger, kinder and wiser than the person I used to be. Then sometimes I do something that makes me think I haven’t come that far, and I revert to beating myself up for being a selfish bitch, which only tends to exacerbate the situation. And it’s really hard to push through it.
8. I have to make a really tough decision, and wish I didn’t. It’s consuming my thoughts.
Focus on the first part of number 7 only!
xxx
How could you not tell me about your orange fetish???
You do know I eat at least one to two oranges a day???? (Including one at 3am this morning – I see to need an orange whenever I wake up in the middle of the night….)
In other news related to your post…. MILKY FOOT.
xxxxx
I was scared that if I told you I would have to share xxx
For the first time in years I have almost NOTHING in my head!
To which my beloved husband would be nodding furiously mouthing “I told you years ago!”, however being the perfect partner for almost 20 years he would never be so short sighted, at least publicly.
However, I have mustered whatever grey cells are dodging each other to come up with “stuff”
1. You reminded me last night that I’m a bad parent by not going to squirts high school meeting
2. I don’t feel quilty
3. My mum leaves on Sunday, back to New Zealand
4. I love my Mum more each time I see her
5. I haven’t started yoga yet,
6. I’m still in holiday mode, trying to avoid the Sydney winter and succeeding… I think….
7. I have fallen in LOVE with big spicy red Italian wines- I’m officially a one glass lush
8. I’m detoxing so NO red wine
9. I LOVE Thomas more and I’m planning his 10th birthday in a Oct.
10. Not serious about Thomas’s birthday
11. One of my best friend’s has gone to NY and I want to go too
12. I’m planning a Bali trip
13. My G’friend just had a baby ..water birth
14. I’m grateful for everything in my life and the joy of being happy and in good health
15 I LOVE getting older
16. I hope your hair crisis passes…. I kinda liked your blond bits a while ago.. Uneven bangs are in!
17. Although you are a diva brunette
18. I’m sorry you were sick
19. Henry looks divine with his “new look”
20. I have purposely NOT FB anything re GAZA because I can
21. I purposely avoid giving my political view publicly because a lot of people can see!!!!
22. I don’t care what other people say
23. I still love rich, spicy Italian red wines…..
A few things
You are not a bad parent
I am coming to Thomas’s birthday party
I want to see your friend’s baby before drinking a spicy Italian red wine
xxx
Dearest Lana, your post made me sad. I have to say these things. The Gym is making you sick. Stop going. (Just thinking about going to a Gym certainly makes me feel sick!) Run outside in the beautiful sunshine. You have a wonderful husband and just about the cutest son in Australia. You definitely have the most gorgeous dog in the whole world. (Jealous much, moi?) Like you I understand how we Australians can despise our government without hating Australia itself and yet not realise that Jewish people and Israelis can also be disturbed by what their government is doing in Gaza and still love Israel. I can also despise Hamas and it’s disgusting policies and still care for the Palestinians who are getting killed because of Hamas. But I’m one of those people who is really upset by Peaches. I think of her poor little 11 month old baby boy, alone in another room for up to 17 hours, scared, hungry, thirsty and crying with a wet, soiled nappy, I think of a house with syringes everywhere, even in drawers with sweeties where a toddler can easily find them. I also think of a spineless, cowardly ENABLER of a husband who admitted that he KNEW that she was back on heroin and yet left her alone with two small boys whose mother cared more about heroin than caring for them. I think of a weak and stupid woman who knew all too well what drugs did and yet did not say NO when offered them for the first time. A heroin filled syringe did not just come out of mid-air and inject her without her knowledge or consent. It was a decision she made and I don’t care how young she was, even 10 year old kids know what drugs do and how you get hooked. People who say that no-one ever thinks they will be hooked for life the first time are FULL OF IT! And people who waffle on about “you don’t know anything about addiction and how difficult it is” just enable addicts more and excuse their disgusting, selfish and self-indulgent behavior. I know about addiction and I know that one has to say NO every day, from when you are a teenager, till the day you die. And when you have children your obligation to keep them safe is all encompassing. Shame on Peaches who went on-line preaching about child rearing, good mothering and making other young mothers feel inadequate and shame on her weak and useless husband. PS. Keep behaving like a school girl occasionally and don’t ever regret it. Life is a JOY! And a special hug for the Pom Pom!
We are going to have to agree to disagree on addiction.
At least we agree on Henry xxxx
We’ll always agree on just how gorgeous Henry is!
Love the honesty and the rawness in this post, Lana.
Thank you xxxx
The thoughts in my head:
– I had surgery today. I had a general and went to sleep in theatre and a dental surgeon sliced my gums open to yank out very stubborn wisdom teeth. All 4.
– My wisdom teeth were so stubborn, my surgeon accidentally chipped my jawbone 3 times
– I’m surprisingly in no pain
– Two years ago my friend lost her life from cancer at the age of 18. I did Dry July in her honour this month and have been thinking about her every day.
That’s all I have for now.
OWwww your gums!!! Hope you are still pain free and well done on Dry July – beautiful friendships never die and what an amazing thing you have done in her honour xx
1. Sleep.
2. Sleep.
3. Sleep.
4. I need sleep.
5. You are rad.
You are radder!
Love this post Lana. I wish I could decipher the thoughts in my head as eloquently as you.
I’ll give it a go.
I’m so emotionally broken from all the hatred in the world. It makes me want to cocoon my children, but I know that isn’t going to help them.
Too many good people get thrown too many curve balls, so sorry about your friend with breast cancer, it’s just not fair.
On a good note I’m doing lots of writing and looking forward to doing lots more.
I’m getting excited, nervous and stressed about our family adventure to the US in six weeks.
I really should eat more fruit and less chocolate. Would orange flavoured chocolate be better?
At times I wish the internet didn’t exist, life used to be so much simpler didn’t it? It felt that way. I hope when my kids grow up they long for their simple childhood like I do.
And I really need a good night’s sleep, but don’t we all.
Oh, and think you could swing me a writing gig at Kidspot? Joking!! (not really), no yes joking. (maybe)…..
xxx
I have no issue with cocooning our children a little bit during times like these, if it’s hard for us to process imagine how hard it is for them. I think kids need to feel safe – they’re kids for a short time, adults for a loooooong time.
Eat ALL the orange chocolate and enjoy.
I’m not quite in a position to be giving writing gigs at Kidspot but if I were I would 😉 xx
This is such a honest post, I really liked it and appreciated your sharing, especially the more emotional parts.
I love the last one though. It’s so nice to work in a place where everyone is nice to you, and supportive. Soak it up. x
Thank you Chantelle xxx
Hi Lana, you’ve covered so much in this post I don’t know where to begin. So I’ll start by saying the white board pic is a perfect representation of an exhausted, cluttered mind/life!
One of my dearest friends is Jewish and she’s had to tune out because people are so clueless and misinformed about this complex issue, and the media paints it all black and white. I wish the killing would stop and I wish too that moderate Palestinians would come out and say Hamas is a terrorist org and stop hiding terrorists in schools. I wish that Boka Haram would disappear from the world and take Isis with it. I wish.
A gratitude diary is a good idea, I need one (but who has time?) as I whinge constantly about trivial and first world problems.
Speaking of which, good luck with the renos, I relate completely – on the scale of human endeavour it might sound trite but my new kitchen last year caused me a meltdown or two…
And re the gym, can’t you just walk/run your little pooch – in my very lax book, that qualify as a work out! 🙂
Thanks Lee-Anne xx