I hold grave concern for my cheerful nature and sunny disposition. In fact I think I’ve turned into a grinch. A Christmas grinch if you will, because even when I am being a grumpy old nitpicker I like to keep it seasonal.
It started in the lead up to Christmas where I was in danger of becoming evangelical in my zeal about letting the world know that not everyone celebrates Christmas. I was spreading the word of Judaism faster than you can throw tinsel around a tree – not pushing the religion at all, that would be odd given I have not a religious bone in my body, but gently trying to explain that not everyone celebrates Christmas, not because they’re odd or trying to be different – simply because it’s not part of their culture or belief system. It would be like me celebrating Diwali or the entire Western world celebrating my birthday.
The other thing that was rattling me (for reasons I cannot fathom) was the constant comparison between Chanukah and Christmas. For the record there are no similarities. Chanukah is not a major Jewish holiday but probably best known one amongst non-Jews because of its proximity to Christmas. The “holiday” (which is not really a holiday) commemorates the re-dedication of the holy Temple in Jerusalem following the Jewish victory over the Syrian-Greeks in 165 B.C.E. Could it be further from Christmas in its meaning and celebration? I think not.
And now, because I’ve become a big curmudgeon who is a millisecond away from yelling at kids to get off my lawn, I’m getting antsy about all the resolutions and transient self awareness that comes with New Years.
I get the symbolism of making big changes at the beginning of the new year, after all I am the same person who uses each Monday as an incentive to read more, exercise more, eat less, be more rational with my teenager and phone my parents more often. I don’t have an issue with resolutions per se, what I am getting irritable over is the inward looking nature of the resolution which, much like my Monday morning do-overs , are all about the changes we are going to make for ourselves.
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I get that we need to look after ourselves if we are to be able to look after others but I don’t think concentrating on this methodology is working very well for us as a species. I think we’ve become a bit self-indulgent, too self focused. We are so caught up in taking selfies, updating our own statuses and making our selves better people that maybe we are missing what’s really important – and that is the people around us.
Political theorist and philosopher Edmund Burke famously said; “All that is necessary for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing.” I worry that with all this focus on our selves we are actually doing nothing for society. On a personal level we may be making huge progress but does that matter if all around you there are people in need? People that need our help, our time, our support, our work, our presence, our voices, our vote, people that need us to stop worrying about ourselves and start acting for each other.
Taking more “me” time, learning to meditate and fanning your relationship with yourself may be well and good, but for me, this year is going to be the year that I do more for others.
Hopefully it will stop me being such a sourpuss next year.
I’ve been someone who has deliberately focussed on the things most important to me over the past 18 months or so, but that’s because I think I’ve needed to – but I don’t think doing so stops you from being aware of the wider issues in the community and society as a whole… or at least it doesn’t have to…
I think your personal demeanour can affect how you see the world – when someone is depressed and anxious, the world can feel bleaker than it really is… that’s why I think it’s important to get your own life in balance so that you can see the bigger picture with the proper sense of perspective…
All I can say is that my self-examination has been really important to me recently, and I’ve made some huge changes and improvements to my life in 2014 – and I haven’t been backwards in talking about it either, because I think it’s important to lead by example…
Like everything, self-examination sits on a spectrum – some self-examination is narcissistic and selfish, but other forms of self-examination are positive and benevolent…
I do worry that your Grinchitude this year (and I have noticed it) might be a symptom of the stress you’ve been under this year (Moving house, and the renovations) – but I’m glad you want to do more for others next year – that kind of aspiration is always something to commend – but don’t forget about your own happiness as well… that’s important too! And I like a happy Lana more than a grumpy one! 🙂
If you have only noticed my Grinchitude this year it’s because I was better at hiding it before … 😉
I am not a big fan of the self examination at the expense of all else – but that’s just about what’s right for me, by nor means for anyone else.
I think it’s great in theory to say that NY resolutions should be more about doing things for others – but a better ‘you’ means you can be a better ‘you’ to others, like you said. New Years resolutions, I guess, have been ‘traditionally’ about improving your own life, even pre-selfie days. For me personally, 2014 was such a rotten year for reasons beyond my control and it definitely made me evaluate life – not just mine, but life in general, it’s meaning, it’s specific brand of preciousness. OF COURSE doing things for others, well, it should be a daily thing, not just a NY resolution but we can’t begrudge people an ‘excuse’ to better things about themselves if it’s concept drives them in achieving their goals. For me, the NY resolution can be anything, trivial or otherwise, but it can be as personal as one wishes it to be. They are mostly broken by January 3rd anyway!
You are right Kat, and I know how hard your year was. I really hope that this year to come brings you so much more happiness xxxx
At the start of this year I made the resolution to make no resolutions because I was sick of the guilt that always followed. For next year I’ve set goals, because this year I floundered. One of those is about my health. I’ve had a health scare, and at 26 years old I shouldn’t be at a point where I am in danger of long term damage. I’m young enough to really do something about it, so it’s now or never.
Your health is most important – nothing can happen without it so take care xxxx
“I think we’ve become a bit self-indulgent, too self focused.” Couldn’t agree more with that statement, Lana. As far as people thinking Chanukah is a celebration… guilty. I’m so sorry but I really did. I knew it had nothing to do with Christmas but I did think it was a holiday celebration. I’m an ignoramus. Thank you for enlightening me. I just commented to my husband the other day how annoying Christmas must be to the billions of people in the world who DON”T celebrate it. Mind you, many people who celebrate it don’t celebrate the true meaning anyway 😉 As far as New Year’s resolutions go I don’t think you could think of a better one than to think about what you can do for other people x
You don’t have to apologise for not knowing anything about Chanukah, there is much I don’t know about most religions. you just have to put up with me being a grinch xxxxx
I couldn’t agree with you more, Lana! What a refreshing post to read amid all the narcissism and commercial excess.
I feel a bit humbled however, as I gave my Jewish friends Christmas cards with “Happy Hanukkah” blazoned inside – and that’s wrong (I now realise) on every level. I couldn’t even get the spelling right (as an English teacher that’s bad!) I think I was just trying to be inclusive but it was really tokenistic.
I think you are too nice a person to be a grinch or a sour puss actually, Lana. And as I said, your post is refreshing, and timely. I do hope 2015 is a kinder place.
Happy New Year! 🙂
I don’t think you have come across as grumpy – more a voice of reason in a bit of a frenzied world, really.
And I understand the urge to grinchiness too – I had to keep stopping myself, for the opposite reason. I felt this compulsion (which I mostly kept to myself) to say, actually, for some of us, Christmas is more than presents and family and get togethers, nice though these are – and sometimes we’re too focused on the consumption side and not the birth we are supposed to be celebrating. I know – that would be a great way to win friends and influence people!
As for new years resolutions – I do have a couple (and am doing the Maxabella linky thing soon), but hopefully not too inward looking! FebFast have been texting me repeatedly today to tell me they are deferring new years resolutions for a month, so I guess anytime is a good time to start.