I was listening to a podcast by Wil Anderson the other day in which he was chatting to Charlie Pickering. Anderson starts the conversation with a rather direct and tricky question.
“Who are you? “ he asks.
Charlie replies very hesitantly with lots of pauses and ums and ahs “I’m Charlie Pickering, I’m a comedian from Australia. How about that is that a good start.” And then immediately he adds “Did you sit there quiet just seeing how uncomfortable I got and what other things I kept added … I’m a dog lover, I ride bikes, I think Picasso’s good and I really like the Doobie brothers.”
It’s the question that Anderson asks because he likes to see what people will say. He says most people on the show tend to qualify themselves by their career or by their profession but he admits that clearly not the whole world defines themselves by what they do.
It got me wondering how I would answer that question if I were to appear on his podcast, or indeed anywhere in public that I needed an introduction, (because chances are very high that I am not going to appear on his podcast).
I’m 47 and I don’t really know how to write my own bio let alone introduce myself in a sentence. My personal elevator pitch sucks. The most concise I can get away with is mother, wife, dog owner, writer, toast lover. But that doesn’t even begin to give an insight into who I really am or what I do. In truth I don’t wife a lot and my son doesn’t require active mothering about 22 out of every 24 hours.
Do I even want to define myself by who I married or who I mothered? Although they are hugely important to me they are not what make me – although they are often drivers for the way I behave.
Even the success of vacation resorts in Turkey – that have made accessible once a luxurious vacation style to a new middle class segment – is generic cialis not a mystery. The case studies order viagra levitra also highlighted the high expense of other treatment options for infertility accessible to couples. He should control himself from performing too much hand practice, and so he requires a firm and stable mind set up. greyandgrey.com order generic levitra Before buying the pills you order cialis greyandgrey.com must search in the websites the nest brands which provide you the same product. Like most people I would have different answers in different situations, for instance at the doctor I would have to introduce myself as neurotic and at the dentist as petrified.
In a social situation I would be someone’s friend or Mr Pencil’s wife, increasingly Little Pencil’s mother. Sometimes my mother’s daughter or my sister’s sister – mainly because I very seldom venture into a social situation alone.
In professional settings I often describe myself as a former editor of Mamamia, only because people tend to have heard of it and can immediately place what I did. But that negates the fact that I was once a teacher and I worked in telecommunications longer than I worked in media.
Often I am referred to as the woman who doesn’t like her Thermomix. Thanks 15 minutes of fame for focussing on my attitude towards an electrical appliance.
But in public I am … stumped.
Maybe I’m just Lana, the woman who has an opinion on most things but just can’t define herself.
But I am interested to know if you can do it – of course I’d also love to know more about you. Who are you?
Fascinating. I just tried to answer this in my morning pages and here’s what’s come out (and here’s what I’ve scheduled to share on my FB page later)
I always kick off my answer to this question with ‘mother of two, wife of one, runner, writer ….’ and then what follows from there depends on who’s asking the question. And depending on who’s asking the question I will amplify certain aspects of me and downplay/completely ignore others … and it’s all in the interests of ‘what elements of my story are going to best allow me to connect with this person’. We’re all constantly editing our stories to allow us to connect best aren’t we?
Yes! And maybe that’s why it’s so hard to describe yourself to the public – because you can’t really connect to a public audience as such so there is no story to edit
I’ve thought about this for a few minutes – I think the most accurate answer I can come with is this…
I’m me.
Damn. You stole my answer.
Me is good 🙂
I’m Tracey. I live in Melbourne. I have a husband and no kids. What I do for a job is not important because it doesn’t define me. I like travelling, eating out and baking. I prefer dogs to cats. I like pina coladas and french champagne. I would read a book a day if I had the time. I am obsessed with shoes and dresses but I am not a girly girl. I don’t wear makeup. I am a mass of contradictions 🙂
I think I’d like to get to know you xxxx
Perfect! That last sentence, that’s all I need. I am going to steal it if you don’t mind.
I AM A MASS OF CONTRADICTIONS! 🙂
Great question, and one I struggle with – because all those things that we usually rattle off are generally who or what we are in relation to something, or someone, else.
Do we even exist without the other things or people around us? (of course we do, but in what way?) Right – off to counselling!
Good point – do we actually exist without the people around us?
Wow! I’ve never thought of it this way. I don’t think I’ve ever been asked specifically ‘who are you?’, more ‘what do you do?’ which is the one I now answer with ‘I’m a writer.’ Which usually leads to ‘what sort of writing do you do?’ And so on.
But for me personally to answer this I think it would depend on what mood I was in.
At times I am someone who just wants to make the most of life. Someone who wants to see the world, watch my children grow and write. Someone who wants a simple life with the things that matter to me.
At other times, I’m just a mother and wife who likes to write.
And other times, I’m just tired.
But I do love this question, and I will ponder this all day long. Maybe I’ll come back and post something that makes more sense when I figure it out!
Gorgeous answer xxx
We had to answer this at a cross cultural training day once because starting off with the job titles wasn’t appropriate in the context we were working in. I actually can’t remember what I said now. Nor do I have a clue what I would say right now!!!
I liked the “me” answer, although I’m sure that’s not what you said at your cross cultural training day 😉
How timely. I’ve been pondering this over the past few weeks rather intensely. There’s nothing like stepping away from your day to day to get a long hard look at yourself. I was pretty happy to find that just being Danya is fine and I’m not sure I can categorize myself into a list.
I loved the realisations you came to after your trip. LOVED xxx
Like you, I am stumped. It’s a really tricky question. However, you have made me realise I have always defined myself by roles and interests. I guess they make up ‘me’ and that’s what John James said. Heck, you DO ask the big (simple) questions.
I’m Denyse and there’s no-one else like me anywhere.
Denyse xx
We are lucky to have you Denyse xxx
No-one else will know who I really am. Many people will think they do. A tiny few will come very close. But I’m the only one who will ever know the fullness of myself. The rest is just perception. I think we’re all like that. So if Wil Anderson asked me that question, I’d say ‘I’m different things to different people, but in my head I’m just me.’
I’m not even sure that I know what ‘me’ means inside my own head.
I’m okay with being a bundle of threads…but it doesn’t make for a very coherent definition if someone were to ask.
I’m a decidedly left wing Christian, a compulsive researcher who lives far away from reasonable internet service, I love Indian feasts and sly choc chip cookies, I’m a home schooling mum but hubby has been primary carer half the time, sometimes I want to wear brightly coloured scarves and cut my hair short, other times I want to find the perfect white shirt to go with jeans and a smooth ribboned pony tail, I don’t cope with uncertainty but I am chronically disorganised…I’m not even sure that I know anyone who could be accurately described in a few sentences, so I just try to guess which edit to use in which situation. When I need a ‘brief bio’ for an academic conference or paper, do I include my obsession with cookies? When I go out for drinks with soccer mums am I the reader, the professional, the political one, the weird chick who lives in the middle of nowhere, the one who still knows all the words to Gangstas Paradise?
I guess it is just as well one of the threads in my bundle is ‘a person who is unlikely to meet Wil Anderson’.
This is a tough one! I agree with Kerri – there is no-one who 100% knows who I am, just me. My work doesn’t define me, nor does being a wife, mother, daughter and dog owner. My version of me has changed a lot over the past few years and continues to change as I try to become the best version of me possible. Clear as mud?!
Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!
Dr. Seuss
Wow what a question! I wrote a little bit about me yesterday on my blog about delurking. But now that I think about it that is all the things I am defined by. Wife, mother, dog owner, former teacher, and a long list of other jobs/careers I have had, my mental health pilgrimage which is pretty prominent in my life at the moment, my hobbies etc. You get the picture they are all things about me, but they are not who I am. None of these things should define me.
All my life I have been someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, someone’s wife, someone’s mother, (I think that is a Gina Jeffreys song!) – I am not sure I even know who I am. I am not sure I have an identity outside of all the things I am defined by, which on one hand I feel sad about but on the other hand I am proud of my family and friends and all the things that they bring to my life.
I think I would say I am Cathy, and I am trying to find who I am and how I fit in this crazy world.
Mental health pilgrimage. A perfect phrase. Thank you. I hope its ok if I use it, a lot.
Such a challenging question. I dont know. There are so many facets to me and they seem to change on a daily basis. I dont know if the person I am today is the person I will be tomorrow. How much of that person is how I feel about myself at any given moment or how much of it is how I think other people feel about me at any given moment? I think the only thing I know for sure is that I hope to keep on growing and changing and learning,
What a thought-provoking answer. Thank you