I write this blog with my head hung low while still flushing with the red hot embarrsment I encountered earlier this morning.
It was bad. I was unkind and it came back to bite me.
Let me set the scene.
A while ago we ordered some very expensive garden furniture which seemed to be handmade by elves – not only because of the cost (and beauty) but because it took quite a while to go from ordering to delivery. Elves are talented but I hear that they are not very fast.
Anyway last week on Friday the furniture was delivered by two wonderful men who in no way resembled elves and who were very tolerant as they walked through the house with heavy furniture while being licked by Henry. (It was 40 degrees on Friday and there is no taste that Henry loves so much as that of human sweat).
After assembling the furniture they informed me that there was a bolt missing for the umbrellla stand so they would not be able to put it up. They alerted their manager and told me that athe missing part would be delivered next week. Very kindly, they also suggested that I contact the shop where we had bought the furniture to er, put a little pressure on them.
I called them on Friday. I started to get a bit snooty because we had paid A LOT of money for the furniture and it was hot and actually no excuses, I quickly realised it was a mistake and not the end of the world. I told the woman on the phone it was no big deal but could she make sure we got it this week. She said she would call me on Monday.
On Monday she didn’t call me backd. I hate being ignored almost as much as I hate the phone. So on Tuesday I emailed her. I got an out-of-office reply saying she would not be back in till Thursday.
For some reason, perhaps insomnia related, I stewed on this a little. I was being ignored for days now and all I wanted was my bolt. My one little very expensive bolt.
So this morning I plucked up all my courage to phone the store. Now remember how much I HATE the phone. I literally had to psyche myself up. Somewhere in that psyching process I channeled my inner arrogant, self important South African. She still exists after all these years,
With the stress of making the call and the rise of the self importance swilling in my ears I almost forgot that the lady answering the phone had done no wrong. She wasn’t responsible for my insomina, the missing bolt or my very bad mood.
I forgot all that. And I snapped at her a bit.
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“I JUST WANT THIS SORTED” I kind of yelled, Like it was getting oxygen to a dying patient.
“May I have your name please” the very lovely woman on the other end of the phone said, “just so that I can bring up the order”
“It’s Hirschowitz” I barked and I didn’t even spell which is just mean. And as she asked me to spell it I began to realise I was not being very kind at all. “It’s probably under my husband’s name” I said trying to sound a little more helpful.
“Are you Lana?” she said to me obviously finding the file which had both our names on it .
“Yes”
“Oh I am such a huge fan of yours” she said “I love the 5 minute coffee break videos you make.”
My blood went cold.
She had just been witness to a side of me I hate, The angry, impatient one. Before this she had thought I was a nice person.
It was mortifying. Horrifying. I have never been more contrite in my entire life.
When I told my son the story he looked at me and said “you should really treat every person you comes across as they are your biggest fan”. He’s damn right.
Even if I am not a very nice person all the time, at least I’m doing a damn fine job of raising an intelligent and thoughtful son.
Sorry again to the lady on the other side of the phone and thank you so much for sorting out my bolt . And also extra sorry I forgot your name – but as you understand I was too frustrated to think. SORRY
Lana,
I follow your blog and usually find it to be insightful and amusing. However, I take exception to your comment in this latest article that you “channeled (your) inner arrogant, self important South African”. I am proudly South African, am neither arrogant nor self important and find your stereotype offensive. The comment is disrespectful to your South African fans and unnecessary in describing your anger at not getting the attention you required to get your garden furniture sorted.
Oh I am so sorry if I caused you ANY offence Gil, I am referring to my own behaviour not all South African behaviour. That way of speaking was way more common for me in South Africa than it is here in Australia. And to be honest it’s something I have witnessed in many (but not all) South Africans but perhaps that’s just because I grew up there.
The only person I am insulting in this post is myself
Well, Gil Davidson, thanks for letting me see how very charming South Africans really are. Nice of you to so kindly put Lana down so ‘respectfully’.
I denounce and decry you for desecrating the holy 5 Minutes name. Thank goodness I am always polite and respectful. Except when I’m in very heavy traffic. Or my food is especially late. Or they don’t offer sweetener at the table. Or…. um…. I’ll stop now.
Bye Kerri.
Only hardcore fans of 5 Minutes will get that joke – so basically me, Kerri and Henry.
Must have been the day for it Lana, cos I went off like a rocket at DHL today after a very tardy delivery which went from bad to worse. BUT the guy I was getting up had nothing to do with it. He was just in the firing line.
It’s not right but frustration has to spill out somewhere.
Lana
Don’t loose sleep over this (hopefully tonight will be a good sleep night!) we all have moments some of us much much bigger than others and seriously you will be much harder on yourself than anyone else.
Seriously I can loose the plot with the best of them and I am particularly snooty when I am talking to call centres especially phone companies because I was once a team leader in a call centre for a major phone company! Nothing irritates me more than being told they can fix my problem except when they can’t and it needs escalating or when I request to speak to a manager and get told there is none present to take calls that is a load of crap!!! I also love it when I ring for assistance with my computer 9/10 I know more than the person on the other end of the line and they insist on taking me step by step starting with turning it on!!
Take it easy and hopefully your but will arrive soon and you and Kerri can sit under the umbrella relaxing together!
Hugs
Cathy xoxo
Thanks Cathy!
Hopefully Kerri and I can record a 5 Minute episode under the umbrella. But obviously only if the light is flattering 😉
What an insightful, clever son you have. “Treat everyone as though they’re your biggest fan.” Love it. Don’t beat yourself up Lana, we all have bad days. I channel my dour Scottish tight arse side all the time. There’s a stereotype for you!
And presumably you do this while eating haggis and listening to bagpipes. 😉 xxx