It’s times like these that I let the people I follow on Twitter speak for me

For the longest time I have been petrified of terrorists in the same way that some people are afraid of say spiders or clowns. It’s been an irrational fear that has been with me since I can remember.  Long before the media were informing us of terrorists on planes, I have been spotting suspicious people on planes – on my honeymoon 23 years ago I didn’t want to fly because of my fear of terrorists. I was flying from Johannesburg to George which is much like travelling from Sydney to Wagga Wagg. No terrorists likely. Still I was petrified.

Today’s events in Sydney have not yet been confirmed as a terrorist attack but they have terrorised me. I can hardly think.

I feel selfish to even talk about how scared I am because even I  can see that, in reality, I could not be safer than I am right now. I cannot imagine how the people inside that cafe are feeling  – and I cannot imagine the fear and hatred that is going to be present after this has all been settled and everybody is safe and well.

The small mindedness and the fear that a situation like this brings is almost as bad as the event itself….

But I can hardly think – so I have been spending my day retweeting

sydneysiege1

sydneysiege2

sydneysiege3

sydneysiege4
Continue reading healthier facts to use Here, we are cheapest price for levitra talking about the erection-enhancing medicines available with these online pharmacies. The metatarsal-phalangeal joint at the base of the urinary bladder and it canadian viagra generic encircles the urethra. Bots are constantly searching the Internet on the hunt for new email addresses to spam. cheap levitra informative website The appearance of the pill is 100 percent cosmetic and has nothing tadalafil generic cialis Learn More to do with any that are left over.
sydneysiege5

sydneysiege6

sydneysiege7

sydneysiege8

sydneysiege9

As I write this post three of the hostages have been released. I hope they are all released soon. And that everyone is safe and no one filled with hate.

 

 

Dear pool man, about that text message…

When I first declared my love for my builder a million six months ago, there were a lot of people that told me that over time I would change my mind, that by the end of the renovation my tune would have changed and I would be cursing and muttering hate filled expletives under my breath when his name was mentioned.

It’s not true. Although a LOT of time has passed and a FORTUNE of work has been done I can still safely say that our builder was brilliant, fantastic, reliable and dedicated – a pleasure to deal with and if I ever lost my mind and decided to renovate or build again, we would use him without even thinking about it.
[Read more…]

Who would design a game like Grand Theft Auto V? (and why my son will never get to play it in this house)

grand theft auto V

I am a very lenient mother, there’s not much that my child doesn’t get away with. Added to my leniency and tendency to spoil Little Pencil, there is my husband’s laissez faire attitude to growing up which has resulted in a child who has seen a lot of movies that kids his age should probably not see. He roars with laughter on the couch next to his father as he watches comedies meant for adults over 18 and he can quote Ecclesiastes after watching Pulp Fiction, in fact when we traveled to France last year he was a little too excited about the Royale with mayo at the MacDonalds.

So far he’s turning out okay, other than the typical teenage stuff which seems to be contained to mini cyclones, he is a compassionate, understanding and kind kid. He loves his family and friends, he is sociable and confident and so far has shown no signs of becoming a violent offender. He clearly knows and can separate fact and fiction better than I can (I cannot watch action movies at all – too terrifying). [Read more…]

Why I think No Gender December is a crock of shit

no gender december2 [Read more…]

It’ too close to home when it happens on your beach

baby body

It’s a beautiful day in Sydney today, blue skies warm temperatures, not a cloud in the sky. I’m looking at my Facebook feed and my friends are celebrating our city, the beauty, the warmth, the “vibe” to quote the classic movie The Castle.

But there’s a helicopter over Maroubra beach and as my friend who breaks the news says to me “you know there’s only a helicopter in Maroubra when there’s been a drowning”. We have 13 year-old sons that are champing at the bit to go to the beach themselves – we are finely attuned to the sounds of helicopters around our closest beaches.

The last thing you expect to see on your beach is Forensic services vans. And swarms of police. You fear a drowning but you don’t expect kids to discover the body of a dead baby on the beach.

Here is the official statement from the Randwick Council

Randwick Mayor Ted Seng today said he was shocked and saddened to learn of the discovery of a newborn baby’s body at South Maroubra Beach today.

The body was discovered this morning Sunday 29 November 2014 by nippers from the local surf club who notified parents and Council Lifeguards.
Lifeguards initially sealed off the area and are now assisting police with their enquiries.

“South Maroubra is one of our more isolated beaches, but it is patrolled by Randwick Council Lifeguards and volunteer surf life savers from South Maroubra Surf Life Saving Club,” Mayor Ted Seng said.
It is possible to order Propecia online cialis price online now and check if there are any attractive discounts available for you. Taking a lower dose will be of viagra prescription for woman no use and will be dysfunctional with the time. Let us check out how viagra professional price Fildena enhances potency. The Lighting Designer is every bit as important as viagra buy usa the Audio Designer and Musicians.
“To say that I’m shocked is an understatement. I cannot imagine the circumstances that lead to this tragic event. Our thoughts and the thoughts of the whole Randwick community are with this little lost soul and the family and loved ones.”

Council will continue to work with the police and surf life saving club as required.

The worst part, actually can there be a worse part than a baby’s body being discovered on the beach?, is that the body was discovered by kids. What they are processing right now is too difficult to imagine.

No details have been released yet about the gender or age of the baby , a crime scene has been established by the Eastern Beaches police, with the Police Rescue Squad and specialist forensic officers on the scene and it is reported that the homicide squad are also assisting.

A post mortem will be conducted to establish the cause of the child’s death and I am sure that I speak for every member of my community here on the edges of Maroubra beach when I say our hearts are shattered.

My heart breaks for the kids who found the baby, the baby who was found and somewhere out there the parents of this baby

The day is too beautiful, our lives too perfect to have this turn up on one of our beaches. Or so we thought.

People with any information are encouraged to call Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000

Be kind, even to those who you deem fit to judge

be kind

We were in Williams Sonoma surrounded by $350 saucepans and $500 Kitchen Aid contraptions. The environment could best be described as genteel, the dulcet tones of Christmas carols being crooned over the loudspeakers, the smell of freshly baked food in the demonstration kitchen fused with the smell of expensive sprayed scents wafting through the store.  You could be forgiven for thinking that all over the world families were happily looking forward to sitting at sumptuous Christmas banquets together with linen tablecloths and silver soup tureens.

But right outside the door in the heat of the day where the air conditioning doesn’t cool the streets and the Christmas carols don’t fill the air were a couple of teenagers. Teeth chipped, hair unwashed, skin dehydrated and filthy, wearing hoodies and tracksuit pants despite the 35 degree temperatures. “Off their faces” would be the colloquial way to describe them. Sad, confused, brain-addled, desperate would be just as fitting.
[Read more…]

Make your voice heard, we’re better than this.

On the weekend I noticed a message in my Facebook newsfeed from a friend of mine. It read “Anyone have a scooter they can donate to a young boy in Villawood detention centre?”

Yay, I get to get rid of some stuff I thought to myself. My son is spoilt and I am a cleanliness nut who hates hoarding. We had more than one scooter from that dreaded time my husband decided the family should take up scooting as a hobby. It was not pretty. And it did not last long (where long means more than a day).

I messaged her immediately saying that I had a scooter and I had also been sent an amazing box of craft from Clever Patch that I am sure a young girl in detention would love.

A young girl in detention. Even the sound of that line just sounds so tragic, so sadistic. So unchildlike.

I drove over to my friend’s house with the scooter and the box of craft thinking about the many times I had been asked by my friends if I wanted to accompany them to Villawood on a Thursday where they visit refugees in detention centres. I am a huge emotional mess, I don’t think I would ever sleep again if I met these families. I have a hard enough times as it is even thinking about the hideous lives these people are subjected to fleeing for their lives only to be imprisoned when they get to “safety”. Just because they weren’t born as lucky as I am.

How bloody awful is that? Too scared, too soft to see what’s going on in my own back yard? I am not proud. I cry about it a lot – yet I never do a single thing to help.

I got to her house, she told me that there were around 22 kids and 6 bikes at Villawood. They were allowed to play with the bike for one hour a day. ONE hour a day because the guards say the bikes will last longer. One hour are day to split the bikes between them. These are kids – kids who have done nothing wrong, whose parents have tried to save them from a life of tyranny. Parents like you and I.

I showed her the box of craft – of course she loved it. It’s rare for these children to receive anything new and so special and which child wouldn’t like to see a box laden with craft? Thank you Clever Patch for helping me make that happen.
free viagra tablet In most likelihood, a sufferer will run away from the problem but what if this problem is curable at least for the time being when the two of them make love. However, in most cases the problem can be overcome easily, many men fail to come forward and address their problem with a proper ED treatment. greyandgrey.com discount levitra As a prescription drug, pill viagra for sale will require a prescription before dispensing medication so they know you have consulted a physician, or other healthcare provider, and the medication is suitable for you. In recent viagra for women price years, with the development of China’s economy and improvement in people’s living standards, the incidence and morbidity rates of diabetes also present the increasing trend year by year.
cleverpatch

She told me about some of the kids, some of the REAL PEOPLE that live in detention shuffled from one side of the country to another from Sydney to Darwin, to Perth to Curtin. It’s when you hear the stories of people, real people that you understand it’s not a news item, it’s not a political agenda, it’s a human life.

I still can’t visit a detention centre just yet but I can and will use my voice.

789 innocent children are currently incarcerated in Australian detention camps. 186 children detained on Nauru will never be settled in Australia, even if found to be refugees

Please watch this video. And get your friends to watch it – and their friends, and their friends’ friends – and then visit We’re Better Than This and make your own voice heard

 

After her baby dies in a hot car this mum writes the words everyone needs to read

Benjamin Seitz

Benjamin Seitz was fifteen months old when his father buckled him into his car seat on a hot summer’s day in Connecticut. It was really hot that day, in fact the temperature hit a maximum of 31 degrees at some point.

On his way to work Benjamin’s dad Kyle Seitz was meant to drop him off at day care but instead he stopped to get a coffee thinking that he had already dropped his son off. The arrest warrant for Seitz is chilling in its detail as it explains that his wife saw his car in the car park at the coffee shop as she was taking her kids to holiday Bible school but she thought nothing of it because it’s not uncommon for him to stop for coffee after he has dropped his son at day care. The warrant goes on in more aching family detail describing how Seitz’s wife and two daughters came to surprise him for lunch but he couldn’t go because he was too busy, instead he got into his car and went to get a quick sandwich.  Then at around 5pm he drove to the day care centre to pick up his son.

One cannot even begin to imagine the thoughts, images and sheer terror that crossed his mind when he was told that Benjamin had not been there that day.

Seitz ran outside. According to a the arrest warrant he shrieked and grabbed the limp child, trying to shake him awake.

“Oh, my God,” he cried returning 15-month-old Benjamin to the car seat so he could rush to the emergency room.

“Are you OK?” asked one of the mums who witnessed the scene in the parking lot of the day care centre

“No,” the sobbing Seitz answered, hurrying off in the car towards Danbury Hospital.

Benjamin Seitz was pronounced dead at 6pm, the official cause of his death was hyperthermia.

Kyle Seitz turned himself in to police after learning there was a warrant for his arrest. He has been charged with criminally negligent homicide, which is punishable by a maximum one year in prison. He will reappear in court on 21 November.

It’s not even worth going through the judgment and holier-than-thou assertions that “good parents don’t forget their kids in the car”, because clearly they do. There is nothing at all to suggest that Kyle Seitz was nothing but a caring, loving and attentive father. In fact until recently he had been stay-at-home dad while his wife was at work. They were a regular family like yours and mine. And Kyle Seitz thought that he had dropped his son at day care on the morning of 7 July, the day his son died.

I can’t imagine facing my husband after learning of the death of my child. To be honest I can’t imagine facing getting out of bed, or even opening my eyes. But Benjamin’s mum Lindsey Rogers-Seitz knows that in reality you do have to stand up, get out of bed and face the day – especially when you have two daughters, aged 6 and 8. Rogers-Seitz also knows that her husband is a good father and a loving man and made the worst mistake that any person can make, a mistake that will live with them for the rest of their days and beyond. She knows that her child has died and that no amount of finger pointing and blame can ever bring him back or undo the love she holds for him. Instead Rogers-Seitz has channeled her grief, her sadness and her passion into a blog that you cannot read without crying and is now an advocate in raising awareness of the dangers of leaving children in hot cars.
In addition, the diet of the elderly population, it amerikabulteni.com viagra pills from india equally affects the younger individuals. Talk to Your Doctor Although this medication can be used for amerikabulteni.com cheapest cialis prices both anal and vaginal masturbation. It may also result with male bareness that cheap levitra fails men to please their sexual life. In order to solve problems of these victims and others, there is an effective medicine, which can be helpful to continue enjoying the love Check Prices cheapest levitra life.
Lindsey started reading anything she could about child heatstroke in cars. She talked to nonprofit advocacy groups and read all she could that the experts had written about “Forgotten Baby Syndrome”. Remember, just like you and me she could never understand that anybody would forget about their baby in the car, but she knows now that it happens. And her family is not the first family affected.

Kelly Wallace writes for CNN ” She learned about failed attempts to include a provision in previous legislation back in 2007, which would require that cars include some way to remind drivers about passengers in the back when the car is turned off and the driver leaves the vehicle. She wondered why there isn’t a law like that on the books now. Rogers-Seitz, who’s a lawyer, talked with her husband about making their family’s new mission the push for action against child vehicular heat stroke.

“He’s an engineer, so we would sit together and he has his notepad, and he’s like drawing out ideas for devices of things that could be developed, and I’m sitting here looking at the legal stuff. And we just kind of came together and said, you know, together as a family we’d like to do this,” she said.

She has since even drafted a bill, which she calls Benjamin’s Bill, and is using it as she reaches out to U.S. senators and representatives about options to consider. Her bill includes ideas such as having the Department of Transportation convene roundtable discussions with everyone from the automobile and car seat industries, to child safety advocates and victims, to academic and medical professionals.

She also wants to see more funding for research and development for technology that would detect a child in the rear seat when the driver leaves the car.”

But it is the first entry on her blog that contains the words  every person needs to read before they rush to judge her

Lying in bed last night, I began realizing what an integral role the press has in deciding what “the story” will be. The truth is that there is a bigger picture out there – an ongoing, political and intellectual debate about the history of these efforts to elicit change and how to go about it in the future – and I would hope that citizens would be just as interested in that as the local, sensationalized story. It saddens me that local media outlets are still stuck on “Ridgefield details” – is that story divisive (do we really need that type of thing now – it still hurts my heart)? Does it stir the pot enough to sell papers or website clicks? Maybe. But, I ask that we move beyond the sensationalization of the events of July 7th to deal with the real issues at hand – that will continue to affect hundreds of more children in the future if nothing is done. Did I forgive Kyle? Yes. Was it a horrible, traumatic day? Yes. We will always grieve that day…but we need to move forward to the bigger discussion right now. No discussion of his actions that day – it’s not about that. And, we have a working relationship with all local and state officials involved – and I will continue to give deference and respect to the privacy of the processes they are going through right now. I refuse to discuss the big sensationalization of the day – charges or statistics? That’s not the point. This isn’t about that – if it were, we surely would have remained quiet and holed up in our house.

In an interview yesterday, I talked ad nauseam about why we were speaking and pubic awareness: I got one sentence at the end –

“Since that time, Rogers-Seitz has kept her silence to maintain a point of privacy during the mourning period, but she chose to speak Tuesday because Thursday is National Heat Stroke Prevention Day.”

I’ve maintained my silence because for three weeks my mind couldn’t form words for these events or our emotions but also to respect the state processes going on at this time. The title “Mother Mourns Child, Defends Husband.” I am not discussing my husband’s ongoing state issues in the media, nor did I. If by saying I love him and forgive him and that we are a healthy family unit moving forward and that he is a wonderful father – then I guess I did defend him. But, I did not defend or discuss any events of July 7th related to him, nor will I…at this time. One day, but we respect all parties involved right now. My grieving as a mother – what that is like – yes, this can reach others to make them see how quickly the unimaginable happens and why they should care about this issue – but nothing else. Not now.

I wish the entire family strength and think of them, their sadness, their pain and their lifetime of grief and I wish them love. And as we enter the hottest months in Australia I continue to hope that no one amongst us ever has to deal with such an awful tragedy.

 

When does motherhood end?

motherhood never ends

Yesterday a friend sent me a copy of Jane Caro’s article in the Sydney Morning Herald, an edited extract from Between Us: Women of Letters, edited by Marieke Hardy and Michaela McGuire. I can only assume that this extract was chosen because it’s a little controversial and it would get people talking. Well at least I hope so, in fact I hope it’s controversial at all and not just to me (although I doubt it because my friend emailed me with just one sentencing saying “I’m glad she’s not my mum”)

Caro says in an article aptly entitled, Jane Caro on why she is irritated by the young

No doubt my jaundiced view reflects my recent escape from the gilded prison that is mothering. I love my daughters. I find them endlessly fascinating. (I suspect, however, that to those who did not bear them, they hold less interest. I still often have to feign attention when others talk about their children. I do so, of course, so I can then talk about mine while they pretend to be interested.) But I have been a mother for 26 years. Mothering is something I am proud to have done, but I am over it. My daughters are decent, independent, contributing members of society but, whatever happens, I claim neither credit nor accept any blame. It’s their life now. If they need me, I will help them, but I quietly hope they won’t need me very often.

Before I go on let me make it clear, I am not judging Jane Caro’s brand of motherhood I am just commenting on how diametrically opposed my own idea of motherhood is to hers. In fact in lots of ways I have heard Jane speak on parenting you could say that we don’t agree on much but that doesn’t make her a better or worse mother than me (although I am quite sure she would not want herself being defined by her parenting skills in any way shape or form).
To me motherhood doesn’t end. Of course it changes as the needs of your child change but it doesn’t just go away. You don’t stop being a mother because your children hit a certain age.
viagra in Soffer is definitely an skilled in bioidentical hormone remedy and has handled 1000’s of females struggling from your signs of menopause and perimenopause including scorching flashes, fatigue, night sweats, excess weight obtain, melancholy, minimal libido, disposition swings and irritability. You can get whiplash by snowboarding, boxing, playing football, doing cheapest brand cialis gymnastics or simply cradling a telephone between the neck and shoulder area may also lose its function, causing involuntary and uncontrollable movements. Another common condition that is buy cialis overnight associated with alcoholism is Erectile Dysfunction (ED). TCM treatment of obese is to first identify their sources, then according to symptoms buy cheap viagra and treatment.
I am perplexed by the idea of motherhood being something you have to get through or some part of your journey that has a limited shelf life and you can just neatly pack away when your children turn 18. For most of us motherhood is a choice and one which we should make with our eyes open – yes, being a mother does mean a lot is going to change in your life – work is going to be harder, your social life is going to look different and even your body is going to change. It’s part of becoming a parent – you sort of mould with the arrival of your child and you continue to evolve and change shape as your children grow up and their needs change – because they are dependent on you for a while. It’s a given – you should possibly know that before you have children.

To say that our children are just one part of our lives is true and correct but they are a major part. A huge part, an intensely important part that we can’t just choose to ignore or not pay attention to because they are kids. And when they grow up they are still our children, albeit older. I would no more dismiss my own sisters or parents as having outgrown their “usefulness” than lose interest in being part of my child’s life because he is an adult. We are family. We stick together.

I consider being a mother to be a blessing rather than a chore but some days it is hideously hard. Some days it’s suffocating and it’s claustrophobic and minutes seem like hours and hours seem like years. But I chose it, I am the one who fought to conceive and carry a pregnancy through, I am the one who gets the joy and the love, the happiness and the pride and sometimes I get the drudgery and the tedium. But I wouldn’t have it any other way and I can’t see this love I feel expiring at a certain date in the future.

What do you think? Do you still need your mum? Can you imagine not being around for your own children?

I can’t stop thinking about Adnan Syed

serial

So I am addicted. Yes, like a billion or so other people around the internet I have become completely riveted and shamelessly addicted to the Serial Podcast.

If you are not aware of what it is all about get right on to it right this minute so you can talk about it with me.  Basically it is a podcast made by the same people who make This American Life which is sublime listening especially if you have many hours to wile away on a treadmill while you lower your sugar, cholesterol and weight. Or just if you like listening to really good radio.

This tranche of Serial investigates the conviction of, Adnan Syed a teenager from Baltmore who was convicted for the 1999 murder of his ex-girlfriend, Hae Min Lee. It describes week by week the very weak case of the prosecution and literally leaves you breathless to find out what’s going to happen next.  The most exciting thing, I guess, is that even the creators are not really sure how it is going to end (episode 8 is being released today and they speculate that there should be around 12 episodes).

I am not a big TV watcher, in fact I would never ever choose to watch a criminal case on TV or at the movies but this has me glued to the treadmill, and the car, and walking the dog and any other place I get five minutes to listen to a podcast.  I think it’s partly the narrator Sarah Koenig and her most brilliant voice and obviously the way the story is strung together.

And, as I have said, I am not alone.  Hundreds and thousands of people are downloading the podcast – it’s the most downloaded podcast on iTunes, there are hundreds of forums on the show and hundreds of articles on proper websites like Salon and The Guardian (not like you know, Sharpest Pencil) that are devoted not just to the case but the phenomenon.

Early diagnosis and treatment help in correcting the viagra stores problem fast. Two types of PE There are two types of PE; Lifelong and acquired. discover that canada tadalafil While your rational, conscious mind has a new agenda brand viagra pfizer and may want to change, the subconscious is hooked on what has always been and the old way of thinking and anxiety, that due to their fault. Men suffering from heart conditions or high blood pressure has been approved within the yr 2005 and also the medication continues to be marketed as a treatment for male pattern baldness, is Merck viagra generika Pharmaceutical, the most extensive research on efficacy of finasteride is conducted by the company. But while forums, threads and chats are devoted to the intricacies of the characters, the evidence, the creators and even the sponsor (yes conspiracy theories around the sponsor abound) I am just fixated on the main character Adnan Sayed and the fact that he is in a maximum security jail. Has been for 15 years and if nothing else changes will live out the rest of his days there. And from everything I have heard to date the evidence against him is VERY flimsy.  No actual evidence other than a testimony from Jay (seriously you need to listen to the podcast).

The thought of Adnan being innocent and in jail is almost too much to bear. I’d obviously him much rather be guilty.  I am like the Chief Minister for Justice when it comes to matters like this. The thought of an innocent person being falsely accused is the height of torture for me

But the very concept of jail and incarceration both fascinates me and makes me claustrophobic.  Imagine sitting in jail for the rest of your life. Or for 15 years. Or even for a month. How long does it take to become institutionalised? How long before you just march to the beat of the jail drum?

What does a person (especially a really smart man like Adnan Sayed) do in jail day after day after day? Before this show started and someone started to look into the details of his case, what was the reason Adnan got up every morning? How did he carry on? How do you spend the rest of your days knowing that there is nothing to look forward to?

Could you imagine a fate worse than a lifetime in jail especially for a crime you did not commit?