What I didn’t know about Japan

I wasn’t really excited about going to Japan, I like my bed and I didn’t want to be too far from it. I was actually quite frightened about travelling to a country with a population of over 127 million people, I’m not a fan of people and I particularly hate crowds.

But everyone I spoke to and everything I read convinced me that Japan was an incredible destination. And they were right. It’s hard to describe how peaceful I felt. I don’t know if it was because I don’t understand the language and so I was sheltered from the news and reality for two weeks or if t’s because the people are so gentle and kind that I genuinely felt really safe.

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Of all the things to leave behind…

I was actually coping fairly well with the pre-flight stress. I hadn’t spotted anyone who looked likely to blow up our plane (I have been spotting faux hijackers since the late 70’s – I’m a maven like that), we weren’t running late, security and customs had been a breeze.

The only real worry I had (other than the entire trip) was when to take my Xanax, should I take it as we boarded, when I got petrified or when I wanted to sleep? Yes, I am amongst the select few who can really stress about taking a Xanax which unfortunately, makes it less effective.

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Travel advice for the neurotic

I know I should be excited about going back to South Africa for a week on Friday and I am.

I am thrilled that I am going to see my father and step-mother  and I’m going to show my son the country of my birth. I’m spending time with my two sisters and my father and that is a precious rarity. It will be great for the five minutes we get along before we fall back into past patterns and start to dwell on that incident from a billion years ago. In that way we are really much the same as any other family just with a few added dysfunctions.

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Travel 101: Don’t be fooled into thinking Australia is close to anywhere

When you are mid flight between Sydney and  Honolulu you would be forgiven for thinking you may never sleep or smile again. You are also forgiven for trying not to think of ways to extract revenge on the people who assured you it’s not a long flight. Leaving Australia is always a long flight. When your flight departs at 10:30pm and you are exhausted and panicked about the fact that you’re going to go days without a bed and a shower it’s worse.

Trying to sleep in a seated position with strangers as far as the eye can see is never easy. Add to that the fact that you dressed for airport and not for airplane and then to top it all off you are flying with a teenager who is known far and wide for his ability to talk continuously. [Read more…]

32 fascinating things I learned while I was away

ethan vernazzoFreshly back from my big European adventure and musing on how much I learned this holiday like – well, like all of this

  1. A bicycle is a brilliant way to see a city. Beware related bum pain
  2. Tour guides are not credited nearly enough. They know a heap of stuff and are really good at sharing it
  3. A souvenir shop will always do well if my son and I are in town. If the souvenir shop sells little bowls or magnets they can be assured a sale.  I am a little bowl collector (which sounds weirder than it is) and Little Pencil has just this holiday developed a huge magnet collection
  4. Supermarket shelves look more exotic when all the items are in a foreign language. Even service station shops can be transformed into magical wonderlands with stocked with Italian produce
  5. They sell white Maltesers in Europe. We all know chocolate isn’t white and nobody wants a confectionary Malteser. Don’t be fooled
  6. We should be very grateful for street cleaners and the fact that our country still has the money to pay them. You will find that this is not the case in Italy
  7. If you live in Europe you almost have to smoke. The fact that I didn’t take up smoking again is testament to my strength (where strength is fear of a smoking related illness)
  8. Going away with a twelve-year-old is amazing.  My son is at the age where he is old enough to be interested in the culture and history (especially where weapons are involved) but young enough to make it more fun for us
  9. When people who have been on cruises tell you there is no better holiday please believe them.
  10. There is nothing better than coming home from a day of sightseeing and walking then to be greeted by a friendly face carrying a cold drink and a wet cloth for your face (see my point above about cruising)
  11. If you eat at a ships buffet every day you will get fat. Likewise for eating every time you see a pastry or ice cream. Trust me I speak from experience
  12. The whole world would be a better place if everyone treated each other like the Europeans treat their dogs.
  13. There is so much history in every European city it makes you feel quite humbled. It also makes you realise how little you know (unless you are my husband who knows so much he’s like a text book – but more interesting).
  14. War is a terrible thing. This is not something that I learned this trip but it really brought home how destructive it is when you come to learn how much history has been destroyed by war.
  15. Has anyone ever considered that maybe Gaudi was on acid?
  16. The word selfie autocorrects to selfish.
  17. If you don’t like people who walk slowly in front of you at shopping centers don’t go to tourist attractions.
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  19. Frozen yoghurt has taken over the whole world.
  20. European water is delicious.
  21. Trees are remarkable (also not something I have just learned). Have you ever stopped to think how much history the trees have seen (I mean the really old ones obviously not the ones that have just been planted). There are trees in places in Europe that have innumerable stories to tell – if only they could.
  22. Twelve year olds (and 45 year olds) will tire of continual sight seeing. It’s at this stage they physically need to swim. When swimming no longer works offer sleep.
  23. It is possible to put on a ridiculous amount of weight in a short time when you taste everything you see. It is also possible to bring home half of Europe as a layer (or three) of fat.*
  24. The first time you see a demonstration in Barcelona you could be forgiven for thinking you could be a part of history. The fourth time you see one (after three days) you realise the Spanish protest a lot. When you hear about what the financial crisis  has done to the people you quickly understand why.
  25. If you don’t like hawkers don’t go to Rome.
  26. Nothing compares to the smell of waking up to freshly baked croissants.
  27. People still sell postcards. I don’t know why because I am quite sure people don’t actually buy them
  28. The Italians will take a perfectly orderly queue and convert it into a shambles of people.
  29. The unemployment in European cities is palpable, in your face and tragic
  30. Balyage is a big thing in Europe. So are scrunchies. This does not bode well for people who believe that fashion travels to us from Europe.
  31. After around three visits, okay make that two, the inside of all catherdrals and churches look the same.
  32. There is nothing more seductive than airport shopping.
  33. I am an incredibly lucky, fortunate and spoiled human being

*Repetitive I know but I really ate a lot

What’s been the greatest lesson you have learned while traveling?

A love letter to Bruges

bruges

Dear Bruges

I think I started to fall in love with you when I first heard about you in a movie my husband loved, you may have heard of it considering you starred in it. It’s called In Bruges and starred (alongside you of course) Colin Farrell.  My husband fell in love with you while watching the movie and it kind of rubbed off on me after I looked you up and discussed you on Twitter.

When I boarded the train from London I started to feel an even stronger attraction. Maybe that was just because I loved the train so much. Gosh trains are so much better than airplanes.

I fell deeper in love with you as we drove, very precariously, into your market square to our hotel and the wheels of our hire care bumped almost melodiously over your cobbled roads.

Your history, your beauty, your fairytale mystique, it got me. But then again so did your plethora of hot chips, waffles and chocolates.

The canal ride you offered was like stepping back in time , more so than your museum attraction which was fun. But odd. A 4D film about a bird and some young lovers, however amazingly put together, did not inform me about your history as much as that idyllic ride around your canals.
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Only the horse drawn carriage ride could match it. I will forever equate the “clip clop” noise of the horses hooves around the square with the music of Bruges.

From your magnificent (but steep) bell tower to your hundreds of quaint and tiny streets, your hundreds of chocolate shops to your lace filled shop windows I love you from top to bottom.

Just one thing:  the chocolate shops with the carved chocolate penises and very graphic sex scenes – a little warning would have been good before we got there. But thanks for showing my son some things I don’t think he’d ever seen before today. Not at all awkward examining the chocolates as a family.

I love you Bruges and if I wasn’t on my way to Barcelona to board a cruise I would be really very sad to leave you.

Lana

A few questions about London

buckinghamI have just left London and if I wasn’t on my way to Belgium I would be really sad. I have to say I fell a little bit in love with the biggest city in Europe but I’ve got a couple of questions

  • Why didn’t anyone stress how picturesque London is? It’s astoundingly scenic, amazingly beautiful even though the weather isn’t. The combination of the historic buildings, the stone and rock, the gilding and the statues with the extreme 21st century steel and glass architecture is phenomenal. I never really expected to be so overcome by architecture. Both 17th century and 21st.
  • Do English kids have to do extra classes in history? Seriously there is history literally seeping through the bricks in the walls. Everywhere you turn there is a reminder that the whole western world was once ruled from behind the stone walls of the government houses. Well maybe that reminder was actually my husband who liked to repeat this fact every time he was awed by it – and that was often. He makes a fair point. So much history and so many monarchs – luckily you only have to remember very few names like William, Henry, Edward, Elizabeth and Margaret
  • Did no one tell the British that smoking is not so healthy? Sooo many people smoking and not just the bazillion tourists. Outside every office block and residence and well, every door there are smokers. There are also cigarettes – it amazes me how quickly we get used to things, now that cigarettes are no longer on display in Australian shops it actually looks strange to see them on display behind the counter. And if I may add – just a wee bit tempting…
  • Why do people try catastrophise change? Occasionally I fall for ridiculous political xenophobia and fear mongering. As such I was led to believe that England is thisclose to bring taken over by radical Islamists. If they’re indeed planning this they’re being very inconspicuous about it. My neurotic fear mongers had told me to expect London to be more Islamic than British. It’s not. Not even close. And when we went past the London Muslim Centre in a very Muslim area there seemed to be thousands of Muslim people happily and peacefully living with a huge mix of ethnic diversities. If anything it was uplifting to see people of so many ethnicities living so harmoniously, nothing catastrophic at al
  • Explain the changing of the guards. I just don’t get the changing of the guards. I respect and quite admire a bit of pomp and ceremony and I’m nothing if not a lover of tradition so I get that part. What I don’t get is the thousands of people queue up to see it when you can’t actually see a thing unless you’re there an hour before. All you see is the back of people trying to get photos. Now forgive me this but these guards are well trained soldiers and their moves are orchestrated with absolute precision, plus they’re all wearing the exact same thing so there’s not much change from day to day. You could buy a postcard and pretend it’s your photo. Plus it’s on YouTube. Forgive me your majesty.
  • Since when did you serve macaroni cheese like this? The food we ate was amazing. Not quite like the British food you hear about in tales of horror. But I will admit to liking my macaroni cheese with a little less truffle and a bit more “crust”

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macaroni

Macaroni cheese?

  • Why can’t all rail transport be like the London Underground? I admit that I am not a frequent user of public transport when at home but I think we spent as much time in the tube as we did in out bed this trip. And it was a little bit brilliant. So efficient and easy – and much easier to say when you are a tourist than a local. I get that.

Can you answer my questions? Have you been to London? Did you love it as much as I did?

Why is shopping so much fun when you are not at home?

324012-online-shoppingI can’t even begin to tell you how much time I spent reading the ads in the comics when I was a little girl. Hours would go past as I looked through the small black and white coupon redemption ads imagining myself snacking on Hostess Twinkies with my x-ray vision glasses perched on the end of my nose while tending to my family of sea monkeys who were jumping through hoops outside their castle.

All those novelty toys looked so amazing probably because I never got to see the real thing and feel the invariable disappointment of receiving shrimp brine instead of sea monkeys and novelty plastic instead of x-ray glasses.

Growing up in a country with sanctions imposed on it for it’s horrific apartheid activity meant that we didn’t get to see a lot of imported products in our department store or supermarket aisles. In my mind “overseas” became the land of milk and honey or rather Sea Monkeys and Magic Sand and I imagined giant toy stores of miraculous product and proportion. With a huge emphasis on Fisher Price toys and bubble gum.

When my parents traveled they would bring us home gifts that seemed so exotic and unique – like writing paper and matching envelopes of Raggedy Anne and Andy (one of my fondest gift memories), dolls that came in tissue boxes and watches that had lights behind them – okay it was in the 1970’s.

Everything from “overseas” was tinged with novelty and awesome.

And then many, many, many years passed, sanctions were lifted and I came to live in Australia. For a while I was in awe of the supermarkets because everything was different and exciting. And then time passed and it all just became tedious shopping for groceries.

Upon consultation, the chiropractor will check the condition of the animal liver is also high, and the patients can eat best price for levitra more properly. 3. Your body should be respected and protected against the toxic effects of smoking. regencygrandenursing.com buy viagra where Getting impotence cures was always something done in viagra free consultation Get More Info back allies or under the table. In Google’s eye, a link’s popularity is judged by the quality of website it adheres to and not the loved that viagra 50 mg. But the “real overseas” rather than the “overseas that I had immigrated to” still held that allure of different and exotic. And so when I traveled I would try and capture all the different and exotic, not just in experiences and memories, but in shopping bags. How is it that even something as mundane as groceries can look super exciting when they have Italian writing on the tins, or Made in France on the label? Do NOT get me started on buying makeup in another country!

Many time I have made the mistake of shopping myself ragged while overseas and then coming home with a worrying amount of shameful consumerism and bags full of stuff that looked better in its native countries.

When I am on holiday I can spend hours browsing through shops and marveling at every item on the shelf while at home I hate shopping with an intensity that others reserve for politicians. But yesterday I had to get a few things before we go overseas this weekend and I had a bit of time on my hands. I got past my initial hatred of being inside a shopping centre and tried to recall the wonder I felt at shopping overseas. And the most revelatory thing for me was how much STUFF there is on the shelves right here at home.

I’ve never noticed the electronic eyelash curlers or the gimmicks and gadgets, the huge range of stationery that would have me salivating if I had caught a plane to get to the shop where it was stocked.

I cannot believe that there is anything that I am going to see overseas that I can’t find in Australia. Other than the different cultures of course, which are very hard to buy and package. So, hopefully this holiday I will stay out of the shops and try to fill up on experiences instead.

If my husband is reading this I hope he realises I am fully entitled to change my mind as soon as we hit duty free. Also none of this counts for clothing purchases.