All I want for Christmas is will power. That’s odd because I don’t celebrate Christmas at all and I know that you can’t be given will power. But I am hoping for it anyway.
Every night I go to bed with the clear understanding that the next day I will be “good”. I will eat fruit and when I tire of that I will chomp on vegetables , I’ll drink tons of water and I wont even go into the same room as a chocolate bar or a bagel
Every morning I go wrong. And then I continue to go wrong. And when afternoon comes and I get home from work, in between preparing dinner, winding down, eating dinner and going to sleep – I eat the contents of the kitchen.
I go to Weight Watchers and I understand the programme better than some of their “leaders” do. I know that I am eating to cover a raft of emotional stuff – I just don’t know how not to do it.
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I think I used all my will power up when I gave up smoking, and although that’s a worthy cause I wouldn’t mind a drag or two of a cigarette in return for having a day where I don’t feel awful about the food that I am literally shoving into my face.
I don’t need diet tips, and I don’t need to be told that I am an obsessive emotional eater – I know all that. I don’t want to hear about the therapy I need to stop myself punishing myself with food and I don’t want to hear little tips like filling myself with water and leaves so that I wont want to eat. I don’t even want to be told that I don’t need to lose weight.
I just want some will power. Got any to share?
We are in the same space, sister!
Dammit!!
As I am also hoping that Santa sends me some will power, I can’t help too much. The biggest success I ever had was a personal trainer and wearing a BodyBugg – between the two I could see how many calories I burnt and then I had to log ALL the food I ate online…for my PT to see. Better believe I was less naughty then!
None here either I’m afraid, though thanks to some excess gas I’m having to trial this ridiculously restrictive diet that cuts out most things deliciously naughty. The consequences of the smallest slither of carrot cake yesterday were just not worth it. Maybe that’s the key to will power…fructose malabsorption anyone?
I hear you. Totally. (And literally, as we were just on the phone.)
It’s SO hard. I love to share my wisdom about emotional eating, but then I stop talking and bite my nails down to the quick for the billion trillionth time because I CANNOT stop biting my nails. Ever. Even for a week. So who am I to talk?
I do know, however, that the more we fight, and the more we try to force ourselves to be ‘good’, the more we rebel and want to eat (or bite nails). It’s a tug of war and at some point you have to just drop the rope. It’s the only way to end the battle. Accept yourself how you are, as hard as that may sound, stop trying to diet, stop restricting yourself, and then there’s nothing to fight against anymore. Eventually, you’ll stop wanting to eat so much. But you have to trust that it will happen.
And it will. It did for me. It will for you too. I PROMISE.
xxx
I can’t offer you any willpower tips, sorry. Just don’t sneak a single drag of a ciggie, it may not be your last. I was going to say that doing other things with your hands such as tweeting and blogging help preoccupy but you have those covered too. Hypno? Acupuncture? Sorry I have nothing sage for you. Perhaps by somehow staring those emotional *causes* in the eye, it may alleviate the resultant food-seeking needs? Good luck x
I’m like Kerri, but instead of biting my nails, I pick and chew the skin around them…til they bleed.
I look at my poor, sore, chewed fingers every night and tell myself that tomorrow I’m going to stop. I’m NOT going to pick.
I do it unconsciously. I’ll be talking to someone, reading, on the phone, even driving and I catch myself picking.
Please Jewish Santa, sprinkle us with willpower.
N x
I’m following/currently living Kerries advice- and I’m not going backwards which ois good. I know the harder I am on myself the more I slip up…I’m trying to exercise more so I can relaX more. One day I’ll find a balance
I’ve got nothing. No advice. No will power either. Just wishing it was better for you. I can hear the wail in your writing voice from here. Trust Aunty Kerrie. She knows all.
Try Ebay.
Seriously, no answers for you. When I had to give something up it took me THREE YEARS, damnit, and in the end I only did because the cost of it to me was greater than the benefit- it was causing me more angts and anxiety than the brief bursts of pleasure. Kerri’s right (of course). You’ll reach that point too, I swear. Let it go. Deep breaths. You are NOT what you eat. You are far, far more than that. xxxxxx
Lana, you and me, peas in a pod 🙂
Can eat v sensibly (ahem, note qualification)
Can eat entire cupboard of goodies at night
Can eat past “fullish”
Know everything there is to know about food values. WW points, hypnotherapy, dietician… Have paid umpteen $$$ to “succeed” x 3 times in adult life to lose 18kg..and put it on again…
Know about the daily steps 10 000 Thingy
Did the personal trainer at a gym too
NOTHING helped (or does) really that I could say relates to WILL power
The first book I ever read about emotional eating was my “ah ha” moment. And I worked through the planning, the how/why/what diary etc
The BEST book from my past relating to the emotional and judgemental values we place on the FOOD we eat is called Diet No More by Judy & Jenny McFadden. Both have been diet- failures and as psychologists used William Glassers Choice theory (our 5 needs ) to write about detaching any emotions to food ie neither good nor bad .. It’s all food.
For a “present” to me at 60 I decided never to become such a nay-saying, self-hating diet failure again.
I decided to be proud of who I am, of how I interact with others and form relationships, and how to LOVE who and how I am for ME.
This approach has let me “relax” more around and about food/eating & I make choices based on 1) how the food will feel once I’ve eaten it 2) will this food satisfy my eating needs ATM 3) recognizing the feeling of nearly full rather than full.
So, I believe all of us here commenting could be “easier on ourselves” and to know that comfort via the mouth (food,nails, cigs) is about using the familiar from our childhoods.
Just by blogging about this has probably helped calm you somewhat and I have been helped by writing!
WIN/WIN. Gotta love that. Kerri has so much wisdom on this topic too 😉
I’ve lost and gained too many times to EVER try again
No
My only advice is that there’s a big difference between “fun” in the moment, and “happy” long term. Being happy brings the most joy in life (having a wonderful marrriage, success at work, healthy body blah blah) but takes the most discipline.
Having fun is easy (I won’t mention where I got mine, but it was fun) and requires zero discipline. But long term it makes me unhappy.
It sucks, but I remember this in every moment. I use the 10 10 10 rule. As I eat, or lie, or drink, or whatever (before every choice) I wonder how will this make me feel in 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years….and I try to choose happy.
Will power is useless. Discipline can be strengthened. Merry Chrischanusolstice
Its slightly hypocritical of me to offer any advice, because I feel I’m in a similar state. But I have an idea of what I’m going to do about it (starting early Jan for me – but you may not need to delay!). Some years ago I kind of stumbled (longish story) across a seminar and particular series of guided meditation CDs run by this bloke: http://www.calm.com.au. At the time I was trying to sort out some anxiety issues, so I gave it a go. (Note: despite where I live now, I’m not generally into airy-fairy kind of stuff. I’m a fairly practical and pragmatic sort of person, and I’m still convinced of this one.) It made a big difference to my general state of mind, but as well as that – I stopped biting my nails and lost 5 kg without trying at all. I wasn’t thinking about either of those as things I particularly wanted to change. It just kind of…….flows on.
(Having said that, he has a long list of CDs that are specifically targeted at different issues people might be wanting to address)
My problem for the last five years has been that I find it nigh on impossible to quarantine even just 20 min a day to myself, guaranteed uninterrupted. So thats the change I’m going to try and make. Hopefully with the help of one or two others in the household.
It might not be for everyone, I’ve no idea. But I know it makes a difference to me. I do agree with Kerri as well – making a fight out of it really doesn’t help. You just can’t afford to use up any precious energy in fighting.
Good luck and love to you.
I decided that if the worst thing I was ever going to do/be in my life was an emotional eater with considerable fat stores; well that was ok.
It sure beats so many other situations out there.
Chin up – that willpower may be lurking around the next corner – just keep looking.
Hi Lana,
After a long absence following political blogs (I’m a political and information junkie) I came back today to have a look at your blog.
Maybe this will be the most important post you will ever read. A few friends and friend’s of friends, and people I have met, and extended family members are involved in Food Addicts Anonymous. It works like AA. I have seen the results and I have spoken to the people who are involved. To say that the results are incredible, amazing and mind-blowing is an understatement. I have seen photos of people who were morbidly obese and now they look like normal-sized people. There are others who have been over-weight their whole life and now they are say a size 8 or 10 or 12 or 14. What I have been impressed with is that after all the weight-loss they do not look gaunt. In fact they look wonderful and healthy. I have contacts in Melbourne (and have met people who live in Sydney) so if you are interested let me know.
I was speaking to someone the other day who has been on the program for about 2 months and she said, not only she happy the weight she is shedding but also by the fact that her mind is becoming unclogged too and she diesn’t feel hungry. She told me the support she receives (everyone has a sponsor ) is critical for her. This lady is a wonderful cook and is still able to maintain her love of cooking with her new food regime. It is really simple from what I can gather and you eat heaps and heaps and heaps, but it’s all the right heaps. On a scale of 1-100 compared to raising children, I would say following this program is about a 5 and raising children is about a 500. There appear to be 2 things you are not allowed to consume … it is no sugar and no flour way of life. You do weigh your food but this doesn’t seem to be any more difficult than what you would do if you were preparing any meal for yourself. Let me know by email if you are interested.
PS Another woman I was at school with, was a really huge young girl and has been battling weight demons all her life, has now lost heaps of weight and looks gorgeous and healthy and devine in her beautiful new clothes.