Kate, there are a few things you should know

Yesterday I read that Snooki had written a letter to Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge to give her a bit of parenting advice. Snooki is a reality television personality best known for being a cast member of Jersey Shore. She is also a new mother and she can (sort of) write so why shouldn’t she be one of the many thousands that are going to shower advice on to the expectant Duchess?

It’s a centuries old tradition that experienced mothers pass down advice to new mums.  If you have a child, you’ve heard it all before. Chances are you’ve passed on your own advice to new mothers.  It’s done with every good intention kind of like Snooki writing a letter to The Duchess of Cambridge.  And me telling Kate what I have learned, because if I had the chance to talk to here this is what I’d say:

Don’t get stuck on what the books say. Your baby doesn’t read and humans don’t actually come with manuals.  All the books that are written about babies were written long after babies came along.

Don’t compare your baby to any other baby but especially not to the baby in the book (just in case you failed to take heed of my first point).
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Feed your baby whatever makes you happiest.  If you ever waiver about this one look around the table when the extended family and a few select dignitaries get together for a cucumber sandwich and a cup of tea and try and pick out the ones that were bottle fed and the ones that were breast fed. You won’t be able to.

I’m not sure about palace sleeping arrangements (although I have no idea why I remember the fact that you are actually living in an “apartment”) but if you want to sleep with your baby – do it. I am quite sure your alcohol consumption is low enough to ensure that this is perfectly safe. I don’t think there has been any valid scientific study that says you can spoil a baby with love. Conversely if you have help and you want the baby to sleep in another wing – go for it. Your baby will eventually sleep  – how he or she learns is irrelevant (go back to the dinner table scenario if you will – you wont be able to tell the adults that were left to cry or those that were comforted to sleep). As long as YOU are comfortable with what you’re doing it’s right for your baby.

When you look back in 5 or 10  or any years time that one horrendous feed isn’t going to make a difference, nor that one story you didn’t feel like reading, nor that sleepless night, nor that pre-packaged, preservative filled meal you fed your baby. Try let go of your guilt, it’s the worst part of being a mother

That said, enjoy what you can because when you do look back you will never regret the time you spent with your child. You might regret missing the opening of a castle or regret the fact that you said you’d officiate at the launch of an old aged home, you might regret that you never ate that red velvet cupcake with the cream cheese icing while the royal bodyguards had their backs turned but you will never regret time that you spend with your child

Whether you are the future Queen of England, a reality TV star or a mum in the suburbs it doesn’t change a thing – having a baby will change your life in the most profound, meaningful and beautiful way possible. And if you love your baby then whatever else you do is right.