Spending twelve hours on a plane is a very long time. Especially if that twelve hours is preceded by another nine hour flight.
That 21 hours seems even longer if you are the kind of person who cannot sleep sitting up and cannot afford to fly business class
It’s a funny, and extremely rare, thing to have so much time with so little to do and no real expectation other than getting to your destination. There are so many movies that you can watch (just one in my case – flying just magnifies what a fussy person I am when it comes to film choices) , so much candy crush you can play and so long that you can stare at the flight path wishing it forward before you’re forced to just sit with yourself for a while and completely entertain your own thoughts.
The inside of my brain is messy and busy and very full. There’s a lot of noise when so many thoughts are fighting to be heard. Some of them are loud and forceful and I worry that they’re going to come out unfiltered (believe me you want my thoughts filtered before they go out.) Some of them are anxious and scared, racing and obsessing but some of them are calm and measured. Some of them are happy and grateful, some of them are over the top with excitement over the impending holiday, some persistent ones are obsessed with my weight (sad truth) and some of them are still in South Africa with my father.
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At times like these I want to write about the huge journey my head has been on in the past. A journey that was less peaceful than this physical one but whose emotional destination was ultimately the best place I’ve ever visited but it seems somehow a bit wanky and misplaced to do it here and now. Misplaced because the only reason I want to write about that past journey is to say how grateful I am for where I am now and wanky because I don’t know many people who haven’t had to wrestle demons in their heads,
But for right now I’m going to leave that journey in the past and concentrate on how grateful I am to be sitting on a plane with my husband and son asleep at my side as I sit with my thoughts and what seems like all the time in the world and instead of being only scared or anxious I also feel relaxed and excited. With just a little neurosis to keep me in check.
How do you deal with time alone with just your thoughts to keep you entertained ?
This is going to sound a bit twee and wanky, but… I visualise. If I want/need something to happen, I play the scenario over and over in my head with the desired happy ending. My life is full of chaos and uncertainty, and I’m not the most positive person at the best of times, so I try to rid myself of some of the stress and anxiety of a situation by role playing in my head how it’s going to go. It helps, even though I’ve just read back what I’ve written and realised I sound like a COMPLETE moron……
Never a moron Miss Benben. I adore the way you think xxx
I wish I could take leave of my brain and go on a vacation without it!
Wait, I thought you could NEVER play too much Candy Crush?
Music and books. They get me out of my head every single time. I am staring down the barrel off 27 hours of flying next week so the Kindle will be fully charged and so will the iPod.
So glad you are having some contemplation time….just enjoy and love every minute, we will be missing you lots.Nat and Roy xx