Motherhood is really just being the person you are with the person you created

When Little Pencil was just a toddler I was still convinced that parenting was meant to be about memorable parenting moments shared at parks and beaches and other traditional “happy family” places.  I was still at the stage where I judged my parenting experience alongside the fantasies of the pictures of other families I saw. I thought it was all meant to be sunshine and roses and learning experiences and laughter.

It often wasn’t.

We’d often return home from an outing in tears – both Little Pencil and I. He hadn’t “appreciated” it the way he was meant to and we were tired and hungry and frustrated. Actually I was hungry – he not so much. Outings in the early days were more like military-like excursions with tight timetables around naps and meals, there was baggage – so much baggage – nappies and snacks and water and suntan lotion and toys and changes of clothing and kitchen sinks and that was just the “baby bag”.

Of course we had some amazing times and I have about 56898 photos to prove it. I also have memories of laughing with him and marveling at him and just being so damn happy to be his mother.  But there was always a lot of stress associated with it – maybe because I hadn’t slept through the night for four years and I couldn’t get the damn child to eat a thing. But I digress.

Today Little Pencil had his first free day these holidays. It’s becoming increasingly hard to find time with him as he flits from one social arrangement to the next, so the thought of stealing some time with him was hugely attractive and I had just the lure to get him to want to spend some time with me.

He’s been nagging me since we bought the new house in March to find out if he can walk down to the beach from the new house with his friends. Today was going to be our opportunity to try out the route ourselves so we could make an informed decision about what the walk involved.

We parked at the new house that we don’t yet live in and set off. Just him, me, our phones (for photographic purposes), a bottle of water and some money for lunch. He did query my outfit before we left home so I knew I was dealing with a teenager.

What I hadn’t imagined was how wonderful it would be to spend time with this teenager without any of the normal distractions. There was no timetable, no friends pulling at his side, no work pulling at mine. We just walked and laughed and walked and took a zillion photos.  He went onto scary dangerous rocks and instead of screaming I took photos of him smiling, he challenged waves on the slippery rocks and I only screamed internally.  He talked constantly (as is his want) and I listened because he was actually really interesting and entertaining.
Except that, in case of medicine, the most reputed companies appoint medical representatives for the the live promotion of the drug to the doctor and thus it is going to the hands of patients. order cheap viagra usually in stock The second brain or enteric nervous system is so extensive that it can act autonomously, with the discovery that if discount viagra the main connection with the brain – the vagus nerve – is severed the ENS remains capable of coordinating digestion without input from the central nervous system. Touted as a wonder herb Gingko improves the system movement to the tadalafil 5mg buy pennis bloodstream. Despite zero cited side-effects for cannabis and multiple sclerosis, always talk to your doctor prior cheap levitra uk to starting a new supplement or medication it’s very important to consult a doctor, who will help you to fulfil your dreams.Peopel are becoming busier and busier, in today’s competitive and stressful life people are probably suffering from serious sexual problems.
We fed birds, we fed ourselves and he fed my soul with a love that the just keeps building as I discover more and more that parenting is not just about looking after a baby, that it’s not about perfect moments that the books define, that it’s really just being the person you are with the person you created.

Little Pencil raved about the walk – he loved every minute of it and even though it’s certainly close enough to walk there with his friends he’s told me he wants to do it with me again. Actually he told me he wants to do it with his dad but I think I’ll be allowed to join them.

I never thought I was going to learn to love him even more in his teenage years. Guess I was wrong.  And I realise I have changed my mind about teenagers completely since I wrote THIS post. (I prefer this way)

.

.

.