This is how you fit 365 days into three weeks

There are a few things I have been having a really hard time with lately

• putting eyeliner on (because I am old and my eyesight is failing, I have been known to walk around with a line of makeup somewhere near my eye that will invariably smudge at some point in the day and make it look like it is badly applied eye shadow)
• staying off sugar (because sugar is delicious and it knows where I live and creeps inside my spoon)
• and, perhaps most importantly, fitting my year into three weeks

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The eyeliner and sugar I can cope with, but trying to squeeze 356 days into just 21 is harder and it’s something I am sure anyone who lives away from their families can understand.

My father and my stepmother are visiting from South Africa for three weeks and it is beyond amazing to see them. It’s something I look forward to all year – their annual pilgrimage to Australia to see my two sisters and me. During the other 49 weeks of the year it kills me to think that my dad is a father with no children in the country. No children that he can see for dinner, or share a coffee with or just chat with in the same time zone. No grandchildren that he can pick up from school or watch playing sport or regale with stories from his youth.

I get that I am 46 and even though I am the youngest of his three daughters and technically I don’t need my father in the way that I used to as a child, it pains me to think that I am not there if he needs me.  It saddens me to think he doesn’t get to see his grandson day to day, he doesn’t get the small, seemingly inconsequential details of our lives that make up the day to day, the moments and minutes that act as the glue that sticks together the big parts that we get to talk about on Skype.

We need to make up a whole year of living in the three weeks that he is here with us. It’s a weird phase in which we try to bring every day normality into the world we are sharing for such a brief time.

It means eating almost every meal together, it means seeing each other every day even when that means other things get put on the backburner. It means trying to cram every second of life into a three week emergency pack that will be able to sustain you for the next 49 weeks.

It means not letting the small stuff stress you and not letting past family issues get in the way, it means not thinking about what happens when the three weeks are up, it means for three weeks everything is as it should be, but it’s not really how it is at all.

I’m going to go back to trying to put on my eyeliner, it’s easier and you’ll never know if I was crying or its just smudged.