Lego shoes and 7 other products you do NOT need

I have a confession. I bought my dog from a pet shop. It was 10 years ago and I didn’t know better, I also didn’t know anything about owning a puppy as can be evidenced by the fact that the bank phoned me the day after the purchase to ask why there was such a big amount on my credit card for a pet shop.

Which leads me to a second confession – I also bought everything the pet store told me I needed. Like the ridiculous nappy pads for toilet training, custom made bowls, the most expensive dog food in the world.

I wish I could say it was the first time I’d fallen for such a mistake but I had a baby 15 years ago and I almost emptied Babies Galore. That’s the thing about adding a new person or dog to the family – it can be very costly if you believe you need all the stuff they tell you about.

Thankfully I’ve become wiser with my years and I no longer fall victim to the hype that tells me what I need to raise a dog and a child. In fact I actually laughed when I heard about Lego shoes. Not shoes made out of Lego, but shoes that protect you from the pain of stepping on the sharp toy bricks. Much like normal shoes would do… but that’s not part of the marketing blumph.

Lego shoes are interchangeable between left and right feet (think slippers) and they have padding to help protect your feet from errant pieces of Lego (think padded slippers with a logo).

I am in no way underestimating the pain of a sharp piece of Lego on the under surface of your foot but may I take this opportunity to remind you about every other pair of shoes that you own that would provide the exact same protection. You don’t need dedicated Lego shoes anymore than you need nappy pads to toilet train a dog.

But marketers love parents in much the same way as pet shop owners love me. You just have to look at some of these products to see what fun they’re having at the expense of exhausted customers

Wigs for babies. a hair and band combination that is basically a wig. For babies. Because can you imagine not having long locks at 6 months old

Nappy alarm – an alarm you fit to your baby’s nappy that beeps once for a poop and twice for a wee. Or you could just er, check the nappy
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A hand shaped pillow that allows you to walk away and still keep a hand on the baby’s head or on their nappy . Basically something that makes them believe you are still there (actually I think I might have bought one of those if it were around at the time)

A time out pad where you can send your kids to sit when they need to reflect on their behaviour. Because the corner is so 2014

Pee and Poo dolls because every child needs a plush toy representing their bodily functions

Baby knee pads. I’m a neurotic mother and even I never went there

A screen time manager which manages the amount of time your child watches TV or plays video games. Because the kitchen clock is clearly not good enough.

And now we can add Lego shoes to the list. But be quick to buy them, they are only making 1500 pairs and you can only get them by entering a competition on the French Lego site

Which is just as well because nobody needs Lego shoes, what they really need…. is Lego vacuum cleaners. And yes, I believe such a thing exists.

What is the stupidest thing you bought for your baby?