What I didn’t know about Japan

December 28, 2017 by 3 Comments

I wasn’t really excited about going to Japan, I like my bed and I didn’t want to be too far from it. I was actually quite frightened about travelling to a country with a population of over 127 million people, I’m not a fan of people and I particularly hate crowds.

But everyone I spoke to and everything I read convinced me that Japan was an incredible destination. And they were right. It’s hard to describe how peaceful I felt. I don’t know if it was because I don’t understand the language and so I was sheltered from the news and reality for two weeks or if t’s because the people are so gentle and kind that I genuinely felt really safe.

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Beware of helicopter parenting But not for the reasons you’ve been told…

May 9, 2017 by 3 Comments

As I walked into the kitchen I was greeted with the buttery, sweet aroma of fresh pancakes. Scenes of slight chaos played out on the bench top as ingredients from the fridge and the pantry lay scattered on top of each other, mindlessly thrown to the side with the apparent belief that if you continue to ignore them they will disappear, better yet put themselves away,

I was prepared to overlook the mess, not just because the smell of the pancakes was so overwhelming but it was my 16-year old son cooking. And he was preparing the pancakes for his girlfriend.

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Filed Under: Featured, Parenting

The link between anxiety and sugar

March 7, 2017 by Leave a Comment

As someone who suffers from anxiety I felt both disappointed and reassured to learn of Sarah Wilson’s new book First we Make the Beast Beautiful.  

I was reassured because every time someone writes about their own personal battle with anxiety or any other form of mental illness it goes some way to reducing the stigma, it takes away the feeling that you have to bury or hide your true self from the world. While I am not one to follow celebrity lead, it’s reassuring to know someone who so many people look up to, also suffers from an often-debilitating illness. Cold comfort though it may be for that particular celebrity, it’s very comforting to many us of less celestial beings to know we are not alone.

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Filed Under: Featured, Lifestyle

It’s time to put my child in the driver’s seat

January 16, 2017 by 3 Comments

This morning I realised with a hideous stomach churning lurch that in all likelihood, 2017 will be the last year I’m going to be driving my son to school. The 3:30pm pick-up will also soon be a memory of the past. And the loss is as profound as it is humbling (and heartbreaking).

There are signs of my child’s impending adulthood scattered throughout the house and throughout our lives. Not least is the fact that from next month he will be driving us to school with me sitting bolt upright in the passenger seat pressing an invisible brake with escalating urgency. It’s quite the metaphor for growing up really.

He is 16 next month and the journey from child to adult is veering precariously close to the adult line. Our conversations are beginning to change – I am finally learning to leave my inner child out of it and talk to him like the young adult he is. (I take credit for my brilliant parenting that he is more mature than I am). He has settled into who he is, his whole “vibe” is maturing and settling (and as an aside it’s a pretty damn awesome vibe).

He is at that level of brain development where he has his own firm thoughts and beliefs and he is not afraid to express them. It’s almost like the impending loss of the school run in how humbling and heartbreaking it is.

I think back to all our drives over the years from preschool to now and I can take off my rose tinted glasses for long enough to know that they weren’t all blissful and idyllic. It wasn’t just as talking about major life events while managing to avoid eye contact thanks to the brilliant architecture of cars. There were arguments about how late we were, about his face being stuck in an electronic device, there were my bad moods and there was traffic and real life and general grumpiness (from both sides). But there was also a comfort and ease in having him by my side. Even without the distance of perspective I can see how much we shared in those drives and I can feel, rather intensely, the joy I often felt as I was driving to pick him up after a particularly shitty day. As much as he was sometimes the fly in my ointment he was more often my balm.

With the changing civilizations and modernization, the number of people has gone high up generic cialis mastercard and everyone has taken up a rather secluded lifestyle; but fortunately, technology has solved this issue by creating telephones and mobiles. This is known as erectile purchase viagra no prescription dysfunction. However it can buy generic cialis be taken anywhere around 1-4 hours before engaging in a sexual activity with your partner. Following are some among the best recommended treatment options to reduce arthritis pain and inflammation. lowest prices viagra And just like that the years of me in the driver’s seat, quite literally, are almost over. It’s time for me to allow him his chance at the wheel to drive us to school and god knows where else.

It feels like I am about to slide down that old woman warren where I get caught up in the joys of childhood and how much I loved having a small child who brought out the very best (and worst) in me, the dreamlike abyss of childhood wonder that makes you forget the crying, the tedious repetition, the mind numbing boredom, the screaming and crying and lack of sleep.

It’s not that distant that I don’t remember all that with crystal clear clarity but it’s close enough to ending that I realise how important it is to savour and remember, to hold it close and press it firmly into the folds of my brain so that I can remember it and cling to it whenever I need it.

This is not one of those mother-of-teen laments that implores you to enjoy every minute of your child’s life, I’m not reminding you that all it all passes so quickly and you only know what you’ve lost when it’s gone, I’m just reminding myself that I’ve had an awe-inspiring ride and it’s time to let someone else take the driver’s seat for now.

I hope my son makes as good a driver as he was a passenger. I think I have a lot to learn from him.

Filed Under: Featured, Kids Tagged With:

A beauty treatment that actually works

December 17, 2016 by Leave a Comment

I am obsessed with changing my face. I’m not blaming the media or advertising, this issue I am laying on my poor self esteem and desire for a non-freckled face and perfect eyebrows.

I‘ve had dismal results at getting the non-freckled face. Laser, the GDP of a small country spent in face creams, hiding from the sun in a manner vampires would approve of and I still have skin that would best be described as “pigmented”.

But eyebrows seem so much more manageable. The problem has always been the maintenance. I was getting them waxed and threaded and dyed and while they often looked quite okay, the periods of looking good were short.

So recently I decided to consult with a “specialist”. Someone that the inimitable Zoe Foster Blake had told me about in a previous life where Zoe and I chatted about beauty products for work.

I called Lien.

Okay we all know I didn’t call her. I don’t call anyone. I emailed her. She emailed back saying I should call her. I withdrew into my doona and fantasised about Zoe’s eyebrows.

Then I took the huge leap of courage and called her. Should have prepped with a valium.

“Send me a photo of your eyebrows” she said

Gasp.

Wait. What? A photo of my eyebrows? Like a selfie just of my eyebrows so she could assess the “damage” I had done to them. Her words not mine.

“I only do consultations where I can help people” she said.

I didn’t even know what that meant and I began to think she was quite mad. I wanted to put down the phone and tell her to stop being pretentious. But I had met her many years ago and I actually really liked her.

So I sent her a photo of my eyebrows and she agreed (Yes! Agreed!) to see me.

We made an appointment for that Friday which I think may have been the hottest day ever so I arrived at the salon literally glowing. Okay Sweating.

I walked into the room which you could have mistaken for the cubicle of a geometry nut. There was a ruler, set square, memories of year 10 maths and Pythagoras’s Theory. And eyebrow gel (okay so a geometry fan who has on point eyebrows).

Now normally when you have your eyebrows done you are treated to a little lie down while they tear hot wax off your face. But not here. Lien got me to sit upright on a chair so my face was at you know, a normal angle.

She made me hold a mirror in front of my face for the whole procedure which is one of the worst things you can do to me. But I was too scared to object, Lien had an authoritative tone and the best eyebrows ever. I wanted her to weave her magic on me.

She showed me the angle (using an actual ruler) that I wanted my eyebrows to be at. She showed me how to even them out so if I added to the top the bottom should match. Think parallel lines people, this is geometry class.

I’m going to be honest, I was not looking my best that day, my makeup had melted off in the heat and I was hot. I don’t cope with heat. But she magic-ed my eyebrows. She made them all gorgeous and frame-y and I could see an actual difference.

Therefore it is not recommended to drive a vehicle or perform any heavy duty tasks.One should tell their doctor prescription viagra prices about the possibilities, and do not give up. The leading order viagra online portal gives purchasers every possibility to place an order of their diverse choices with myntra. Today! cialis 60mg Many women are trying to get pregnant naturally. Headache Chiropractic therapy can low priced viagra be effective against a migraine which is caused by problems with the cervical vertebrae. And she did not use a drop of wax. She did not pluck them out with thread. Using a tweezers, eyebrow pencil and wizardy she just made them look really good. Like hers.

This was going to have to become my new go-to place for eyebrows. I was secretly hoping it wouldn’t involve any more phone calls and quietly calculating how much this was going to add to my budget.

But then she spread the final bit of magic. “I am showing you how to do this so you don’t have to come back” she said.

“What? Ever?” I asked, the incredulity barely escaping my lips. I have never had a beauty type person say not to come back.

“But…but…but how do you make a living if I don’t have to come back every 4 weeks?” I asked as if I had just become her career/financial advisor.

She explained something about her love of teaching and her desire to do more than make money but I was so gobsmacked I barely listened. Also I was staring at my eyebrows.

It’s a few weeks later now. I have awesome eyebrows and a huge crush on Lien.

And now I am developing a new obsession – getting rid of the creases, I mean crevices, in my chest.

What’s been your best beauty trick/secret?

Edit: This is a very bad before and after picture reference because I am a shite photographer and hate selfies and think that maybe the evidence is better in real life. I just took the after shot about a minute ago after some people asked me on Facebook so there is no brow on my gels or any other trickery – just their new natural shape.

before

This is the picture I sent to Lien

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

after

This is my “unmade” eyes taken 4 weeks after I saw Lien

Filed Under: Featured, Lifestyle Tagged With:

The best part of parenting: when you stop relying on the internet

December 12, 2016 by 1 Comment

I became heavily reliant on the internet when my son was a tiny baby. And I literally mean tiny. He had been termed “failure to thrive”, a hideous diagnosis for any parent to hear. The best support I found was online where groups of mums gathered in forums to provide solace, comfort and advice for other people whose children were in a similar predicament.

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Filed Under: Family, Featured

The secret to a life of love

December 2, 2016 by 1 Comment

Thirty-one years ago my (now) husband saved my teddy bear from certain disaster. We had just finished school and we were in a hotel room celebrating our newfound freedom. I hardly knew him and his rowdy group of friends but, as happens when you are young and carefree, his friends knew my friends and a party of sorts had spontaneously erupted in our hotel room.

I was 17, insecure and a little emotionally damaged from what had been a turbulent few years of adolescence. This may or may not account for the fact that my childhood teddy bear Pooky was in the hotel room with me, he was my constant companion, my fluffy safety net and I never considered leaving him behind when I went away.

secret to a loving relationship

But 17-year old boys react to fluffy childhood toys quite differently to the way insecure teen girls do. Pooky quickly became a football the boys tossed around with careless abandon. My connection to this brown fall of fluff cannot be understated, 30 years later I can still feel my visceral horror at seeing him hurled around the room. I can also recall the moment my future husband shouted “throw him to me” as my heart sunk further and further. I don’t know if he saw the tears in my eyes or if he picked up how anxious I was. I do know he caught Pooky and handed him straight back to me. The first of thousands of times he showed his true, very kind heart.

In the fairy tale version of this story I would say that this is when I fell in love with him. That my eyes locked on his and, as he handed my bear back into the safe embrace of my arms, I knew he was the man for me. In reality I thanked him (probably tearfully) and offered to buy him a drink. There were no arrows to the heart, no over dramatic thumping of the heart but I started to think that this was a really good man, a kind man. I liked that about him.

Thirty-one years later I still do. Even more so now that I have travelled so much of my journey with him by my side.

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Love, to me, is like the tides of the ocean, sometimes it threatens the ground underneath me, turns it to mud and makes it I feel like I am sinking. Sometimes the waves roll so far back from the beach I’m left alone on the hard sand.

But the fact that I like my husband, that is a constant. I see the good in him, I want to spend time with him and when the love is harder to feel because there is fighting or chaos and real life is not romantic, I remember that, while I may not feel overwhelming love at that moment, I really like who he is.

It’s often people entering or leaving relationships who ponder on the meaning of love, people looking for love who need to define what it is, but if you accept that above all else you really need to like someone to live a life of love, it may make it a bit easier.

As for Pooky, he came with us on honeymoon. He now lives in our cupboard happily nestled among the winter blankets and I still love him.

(This post also appeared on The Huffington Post here)

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Petition against petitions

November 14, 2016 by 4 Comments
Source news.com.au

Source news.com.au

I’m tempted to petition against petitions. And as absurd as that sounds it’s not out of the realms of possibility given some of the things I have seen being signed lately.

In the early days of the online petition (and at the risk of sounding like a woman on a rocking chair on the porch whittling wood and shooing kids off the yard) there was great power in the petition. It felt like signing your name, or giving access to your Facebook page was going to make a great difference. It felt powerful to be able to add your name to the noise and the rabble and stand up for something that you truly believed in or stood for.

There were big issues being petitioned against – torture, detention, child slavery, animal cruelty, oil spills. Huge issues that allowed you to feel part of something, if not a solution at least a support.

But the tide has changed. It seems like everyone has a petition now. Just last week I was asked to sign a petition by a 7-year old for more toys in an elite Eastern Suburbs play centre. I didn’t sign.

And while I make my indifference heard in my silence there are some petitions that just make me laugh with deep anger (not a pleasant sound). For instance one I saw making it’s way around Facebook this morning.

First some background.

Jamila Rizvi was interviewed on The Project after the debacle we have come to know as the US election. Steve Price was on the panel that night as well.

From news.com.au  

“Appearing on the panel of Channel Ten show on Wednesday night, they engaged in a fiery exchange after Price claimed Rizvi interrupted him while they were discussing Hillary Clinton’s loss.
“It shows you that people in real America, in small town America, weren’t buying the bulldust coming out of the elites,” he said, before Rizvi jumped in.
“Sorry, can we cut this bull**** about the idea of there being a ‘real America?’” she hit back.
“I’m sorry, I was speaking before you interrupted,” Price replied tersely.
“Is it okay if I speak?”
After Rizvi pointed out the question was directed at her, he appeared to become more annoyed.
“This is the reason why Donald Trump won,” he said.
“Because people like you lecture and heckle people.”

Immediately after seeing that I tweeted “I’m with Jamila Rizvi” because if I am not a petition fighter I am at the very least vocal about women being able to speak without being called lecturers and hecklers.

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This morning I saw a petition calling for The Project to apologise to Steve Price live on air. Yes, apologise to Steve Price, the very same man who called Van Badham hysterical on Q&A and refused to apologise for that.

I read the petition and realised the man who penned it is clearly irate. Irate enough to start a petition. Irate enough to elicit that angry laughter that comes when I read something written by someone who so badly wants to reframe something so he looks like the victim.

If we can’t petition against the petition can we at least call for writers of petitions to come up with some substantiated facts or even to sound a tiny bit educated in what they are arguing for. “In every single facebook (sic) post detailing the exchange” it says “the people of Australia have expressed their outrage of the leftist bullying that occurred, coming out in support of the conservative commentator”. Clearly he hadn’t read the Facebook post his own petition was appended to.

Some 30 000 conservatives afraid a TV program could go to air with left leaning views have signed the petition. A petition of which the writer says “at the core of this petition is a person (sic) right to freedom of speech and how political correctness is degrading it. The left have slowly eroded this right to the point that if you do not agree with their opinion, you are branded a racist, sexist or other deformities. Instead of opening a discussion to debate issues, they merely insult and put down.”

Maybe he will start a petition against being decent, I mean political correctness.

It’s these petitions that reach the news and have people giving them power that makes me despair for the petitions that are truly important.

Ever started a petition? How many do you sign a week?

Filed Under: Current Affairs, Featured Tagged With: ,

Money and profile are not my indicators of success

September 20, 2016 by Leave a Comment

Here’s another woman whose advice I wont be paying much attention to. Her name is Samantha Ettus and I only know she exists because I read an article about her yesterday which probably gave her all the exposure she wanted. She clearly writes to alienate, in fact she quite smugly suggested she’s already getting hate mail and the book she’s written isn’t even out. Goals.

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Here’s a great way to ruin your child’s digital footprint. And their self esteem

September 14, 2016 by Leave a Comment

Let me tell you something about living with teenagers; it’s Hormone City and that place is not always packed with sunshine and happy times. Teens are moody and emotional underdeveloped adults. They take risks and they rebel against their parents while still leaning on them for support and protection. They sulk, they grunt and they process things in a different way to those with a fully developed frontal cortex. (They are also pretty awesome)

And it has always been that way. Even back in “the good old days” where discipline reigned supreme, we seem to have forgotten that teenagers were always tricky subjects. [Read more…]

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