Yesterday I saw an absolutely terrible contract that was supposedly written by an 8th grader to her boyfriend. It was a contract that I have seen described as “cute” “hilarious” and “the best thing ever” in various media outlets.
I describe it as frightening, harrowing and indicative of some real problems. Hopefully soon I will see it being described as fake. [Read more…]
It finally happened, last night I slept alone in my bed and it was awful. I watched the entire series of The Katering Show on IView followed by the whole series of When I Get A Minute. When I started thinking of writing in to tell Leigh Sales and Annabel Crabbe I preferred them on podcast I knew I was over tired. But still I couldn’t sleep. I read three chapters of a book I’m not loving and even that didn’t bring sleep. I counted sheep and did the A-Z of boys names and girls names and even attempted car types but I got bored and still didn’t sleep.
My husband is away at least one night a week so sleeping in the bed without him is not the stress. In fact it’s something I quite look forward to, not the sleeping part as much as the cereal for dinner and choosing not to watch any sport on TV part. [Read more…]
The fundamental problem with getting children to appreciate their parents is that by the time kids fully understand everything their mother and father have done for them they are parents themselves. And by that time they are often too busy/exhausted/forgetful to do anything about it.
When we are children we take the loving care of our parents for granted, when we are teens we’re so self involved we just can’t see past ourselves (it’s a developmental thing not just a horrible teenage trait) and when we move out of home the feeling of freedom is so enormous, looking back in a meaningful way to assess all you’ve been given often isn’t even possible.
It is my son’s 15th birthday today and as such I am sure I am meant to come up with some meaningful and heartfelt post about how awesome he is (because he is).
But he’s fifteen now, which means he’s half man and it’s probably not so cool for me to write about him all over the internet (if it ever was).
So I’m not going to share with you how awesome he is or how proud of him I am. I won’t tell you about how people who come into contact with him rave about him and make my heart swell. I won’t tell you about his compassion and kindness and his sense of humour which surpasses his dad’s by far – and is a teeny, tiny bit of a fraction off mine. I won’t tell you how much joy he brings to the people around him or how .. oh okay I see what I’m doing, I’ll stop. [Read more…]
“I’ll have to wait 11 years before I have a kid free New Year’s Eve again” I overheard a wistful sounding mother say the other day. I felt one of those sentimental pangs you get when your child is no longer a toddler and you’ve embraced that smug “older and wiser” satisfaction you probably don’t deserve.
“Hang on to it while you can” I wanted to say to her which would have been very odd and possibly a bit creepy because (I hope) she wasn’t even aware I was eavesdropping on her conversation. It would also have been awful because I am not a fan of the smug, know-it-all kind who tell you how to nurture/care for/raise your kids. My worst is people telling you how you should feel. Especially about your own kids. [Read more…]
Recently Sarah Haynes, the school captain of Ravenswood made news by telling it like she saw it at her farewell assembly. My first thought was that Ravenswood sounded like a house out of Harry Potter but my second and subsequent thoughts were much more considered.
Sarah is young, she is in a privileged position of leadership and I believe she should take that position seriously. It doesn’t matter whether the school is private, public or part of Hogwarts.
When you are an adult and you work for an organisation you tow the organisation’s line. Sometimes you don’t agree with it but there are other things that make you happy so you shut up and accept it. Sometimes it’s too much so you pack your bags and go. At the farewell party you smile graciously and then, if you want to burn all your bridges, you send a tirade by group email when you leave. Hint: It’s never a good idea to burn all your bridges. There are better way to handle things than the element of surprise bomb when your nearest and dearest are gathered together.
I have a confession. I bought my dog from a pet shop. It was 10 years ago and I didn’t know better, I also didn’t know anything about owning a puppy as can be evidenced by the fact that the bank phoned me the day after the purchase to ask why there was such a big amount on my credit card for a pet shop.
Which leads me to a second confession – I also bought everything the pet store told me I needed. Like the ridiculous nappy pads for toilet training, custom made bowls, the most expensive dog food in the world.
Snuggle together as long as possible
These six words recently won the “Sweetest” section in the the New York Times, Motherlode competition calling for The Best Parenting Advice in 6 Words.
It’s awesome parenting advice but I don’t think it’s given enough. Though you will read countless parenting books and listen to exhaustive expert talks, you will ask questions from the nurse when you hand over your blue book and you will discuss the topic of child rearing with every unknown on the internet, it’s easy to miss the the bits that telll you to just snuggle.
And as your children get older, though you will read fewer and fewer parenting books as you realise that you are really good at what you are doing, you will notice that in those books and those internet pieces you do come across, they often neglect to mention snuggling at all.
They forget to remind you to snuggle, and more importantly they forget the importance of snugggling for as long as possible. They miss the very most important bit, so I’m going to give you some advice of my own
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It’s often only when the snuggle is less forthcoming that you realise how important it’s been. When you seem to need it more than they do.
One day you will look back and you will see they learned to sleep and eat, and all their teeth came through and they learned to read and write and all those worries and that time we invested in worrying about swaddling and dummies and after school sport and the right lunch box choices means very little compared to the fact that they learned to love and to show love in return.
You’ll never regret a snuggle. But you’ll regret the times you didn’t have one.
“If you have any friends over 40 who’re thinking of having children tell them not to do it” he said to me. His conviction was strong even though he was clearly over 40 and in the pram next to him was an adorable, cherub-faced baby boy who looked a little bit like heaven.
It wasn’t the answer I was expecting when I bumped into an old friend at the supermarket and asked him how the new baby was going. I could see bub was gorgeous and happy and I had no reason to think dad wouldn’t be smitten in love. But no, he said he didn’t feel that way at all. I am sure that on some level he was very much in love with his son and it was the lack of sleep that was talking, but maybe that’s just what I wanted to believe. Dad was adamant that this baby had been a mistake and it was one he regretted. He felt he was too old for the change to his routine, the crying, the nappy changes, the naps, the baby. [Read more…]