10 things you must do in order to get a good night’s sleep

For as long as I can remember I’ve had horrible bouts of insomnia. These bouts are nicely interspersed with times of sleeplessness. As you can imagine, I have (exhaustedly) gone through hundreds of tips meant to help get me to sleep and what’s more to sleep through the night.

So far I haven’t had a lot of luck – but I do think I know how to help other people get the sleep they need,  and so I have created this handy list for you to follow

1. Get yourself really tired

2. Make sure you are comfortable

3. Let go of any childhood issues  you have been hanging on to

4. Pretend you have no worries at all

5. Forget every embarrassing encounter you’ve ever had


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6. Don’t think about your poor business decisions or bad career choices

7. Try very hard not to replay old fights in your head

 

8. Don’t think about things like who would attend your funeral

9. Don’t even think back on your day

10. Take a sleeping pill

Easy huh?

The day I decided to burn my diary

I sat up in the middle of the night last night with an urgent desire to go downstairs and rummage in the garage to find an old diary. I didn’t want to look what was inside or be reminded of what I had written, I just wanted to destroy it.

Given that one of my big regrets is burning my teenage diaries in a moody angst fuelled fire (I literally set fire to them), this makes no sense. After all I don’t actively try and create more regrets for myself.

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Of all the things to leave behind…

I was actually coping fairly well with the pre-flight stress. I hadn’t spotted anyone who looked likely to blow up our plane (I have been spotting faux hijackers since the late 70’s – I’m a maven like that), we weren’t running late, security and customs had been a breeze.

The only real worry I had (other than the entire trip) was when to take my Xanax, should I take it as we boarded, when I got petrified or when I wanted to sleep? Yes, I am amongst the select few who can really stress about taking a Xanax which unfortunately, makes it less effective.

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We’d never want to believe a mother could be responsible for this

A couple of days ago I posted an update about a mum who has been accused of deliberately harming her daughter . The story appeared on the 7:30 report and has since been published in various media outlets both in Australia and globally.

It’s the kind of story that will always make people feel strongly. A child is allegedly being harmed and a mother has being charged with the offence. It sits comfortably with no one.

When I posted about the case I never named the mum nor tried or convicted her, but I did wonder about the wisdom of chronicling your child’s life for the rest of the world to read. I guess I need to accept that people do that although I will never understand why.

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To the anxiety beast in my head…

anxiety beastMy anxiety is a tricky beast. It’s aware I would never invite it in so it just appears and then stabs me  repeatedly in the chest area to remind me of its existence.

My anxiety beast loves change almost as much as I hate it. Whenever there is a slight whiff of change in the air he swoops in and attaches himself to me like an iron filing to a magnet. Or a parasite to my flesh.

It’s that capacity to sense and swoop in on change that makes sure my anxiety knocks out any excitement I may have before it has a chance to express itself. Picture my head as a 3 litre container – anxiety is 4 litres and takes up all the space spilling over and not allowing the other emotions any light or space. It’s odd how I can see that objectively but I can’t stop it from happening. [Read more…]

The contents of my head

contents of my brain

I think (and talk) a lot about how much of our children’s lives we should be sharing on social media and with other people. I am all for respect and boundaries. I have chosen to share carefully. Often I make mistakes.

I don’t think some “bad” person is going to steal my son’s image or but I do worry about exposing him to the world from my vantage point, without his adult consent and the understanding of all that it encompasses.
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I am reminded of this every day but there seems little I can do

“The voices that he hears are processed in the same part of the brain that processes the sounds you hear” said the man from the Schizophrenia Fellowship to me on the phone. “They are as real to him as my voice is to you”.

I knew this already but somehow hearing it from this kind man makes me remember it, resets my empathy. Again.
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Mentally ill or evil?

I am no Pollyanna, everyone who knows me knows that . I am the master of thinking of and fearing the worst possible scenario in my head, I am a nervous worrier and I often experience hideous anxiety. Especially when I watch the news. Or listen to people talk about the world.

Because of this lovely, sunny natural disposition of mine I have had to build up a few defence mechanism – ignoring people, changing the subject, crying to my husband and er, swallowing pills. Perhaps the way I perceive the world is another one of these defence mechanisms.

For instance when I hear that someone has done something heinous I assume (and I believe rightly) that they are mentally ill. Not in a “depressed” or “anxious” way but in a “completely out of touch with reality” way.

I never thought of it as a defence mechanism until I really spoke about it in some detail with Kerri.
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Take a look – Kerri feels very differently to me. For a change. Please watch the video so that you can see I REALLY don’t believe everyone with a mental illness commits evil acts (in fact I know that not to be true).

What do you think? Can people be evil or is it a mental illness?

I’d be really grateful if you read this

I loathe self-help books, I don’t like to be told how to feel and process things – especially by people who don’t know me or what I have been through. I don’t believe in many alternative “new-age” ways of thinking, mainly because I fiercely believe in science and I am not the kind of person who can gaze at my naval and contemplate. In fact I can’t do anything that involves concentrating on breathing because as soon as I even think of the in and out mechanism of breathing I forget how to do it.  You don’t want to sit near me in a yoga class when they do breathing exercises – I will trample you in my hurry to leave.

Being told that I can manifest good things if I just think positively is one of the worst things you can say to me – I wonder if people who say that to me would say the same words to a child born and living in a rubbish dump in India. Or to a child suffering from a terminal disease. Or to a family fleeing the war in Syria. I could go on for days. Ridiculously bad things happen to extremely good people and extravagantly good things happen to hideously bad people. Life can be awful and wonderful and it’s very, very random.
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And their lives will never be the same again

I was going to write a post about something light and airy, superfluous and funny today. But then I went shopping and my day changed. And my mood. And a whole lot of people’s lives.

I was in Bondi Junction going to pick up some new glasses because people have started printing things really small these days. I parked my car and went through the entrance I always use – near the sushi place and the fruit shop, that way I know I will always find my car again.
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